Jakarta under terror

I was on the way to the office when my sister mentioned the bombs. It was so peaceful, just an ordinary day. I accused her of joking, a victim of harmless prank by her friend. But no, she said. JW Marriot and Ritz-Carlton Jakarta were bombed at 7.55am. No shit.

The implications were pretty severe. Traffic was everywhere, the national security was on Siaga 1 (the level just below wartime), it stole the spotlights from Manohara and Michael Jackson in the news channels, the president looked angry, sad, dissapointed yet resolute. I thought he handled it pretty well, not a hint of fear regardless of his picture being used as a shooting target by the so-called terrorists.

The finance ministers abruptly broadcasted how they will not allow the dollar to appreciate and wreck havoc amongst traders. I also thought that was very smart. I know that they have no means to do so, but they did the only thing they can: lock in public panic and self-fulfilling prophecy. The dollar will not appreciate under fear and crippling speculation, that much they addressed for the moment.

All in all, this is a tragedy nevertheless of the size of casualties. Indonesia has been under international appraisal for being South East Asia's most vibrant democratic country, a stable economy under the new president. The Thinking General, so he's called. In a way it is sustaining its democratic nature, by allowing free thinkers to express themselves, regardless of how adverse it is.

What saddens me the most I think was this video they had of this Director of a big cement company dying. He and his managers were having breakfast meeting at the JW Marriot that unfortunate morning. The security camera showed everything, from the morning routines of the hotel, a succumbing explosion and immense amount of smoke and rubbles that followed. He was later seen carried out by the firefighters, abandoned on the side of the street while they try to rescue others. He was still alive then. Very badly burnt, his clothes were gone, his left eye was gone and half his face skinless, but alive nonetheless.

There was indeed a footage of him deformed, squealing in pain for help at first. That turned into anger when he realized the only thing he was attracting was people video-taping his state of being. Like some kind of an attraction. He waved his arms in anger, telling them to piss off. But continue taping was the only thing they did, amateurs and professionals alike.

He died, doctors said he could have been saved if he received medical attention sooner.

I had that feeling in the Netherlands when I had my accident. I was unable to walk, on the street waiting for the ambulance. People walked by, asked in anticipation what I was doing there. What happened, they shook their heads in fear when they saw my open knee. But thats it, once they know what the fuss was all about, they left. I also felt like an attraction, and began to despise people who came by for the spectacle.

I thought that was one of the bad things I encountered during my stay there, but unfortunately it is more global that I thought.

The thought of seeing a man crying for help and dying in front of a taping crowd was beyond my understanding. What happened to humanity, a bond between all humans regardless of acquintance? Arent we all social beings who literally cant live without each other? Why should curiosity comes first before time saving, the thin line between living and dying? Why arent we rushing the poor New Zealander to the hospital when we had the chance? Spare the family of the dreadful phone call.

We are under terror, but to me it is a different kind of terror. The lacking of humanity, that is what's attacking us.

Knee Infection

Yes, that wound on my knee is infected. I have been busy with catching up that I completely forgot about my knee. That is, until one day I woke up and the inner crust (the only small part left) is totally gone. Then, I noticed how this transparent liquid started to come out of it. And I started freaking out a little bit. I know my biology skill is relevant with 5th graders, but I thought that it might be white blood cells.

My patriotic white blood cells who fought and lost the battle to evil microbeings rooted in my wound.

It dried after 2 days, so my mom told me to go the doctor for some anti-scar lotion or something. You know, something to preserve my old knee. He gave me this antibiotic lotion to put on my wound because he saw some strange yellow-blackish part on my wound. I applied it dutifully, until I realized yellow stuff actually started to come out. This time my retarded biology-related brain waves a red flag. I had slight fever, and was being a complete drama queen to my sister.

I think my knee is infected.

No it's not. (while looking at my knee)

No? How about now?

No.

Now?

No.

Are you sure?

How about now?

I know. I am a complete bitch when in unchartered water. But turns out being a drama queen is sometimes a good thing, because my knee is infected! So it has been lolipop-frenzy, pony rides and absolute fun here.

NO IT IS NOT, I AM COMPLETELY IN SELF DENIAL.

The doctor prescribed more antibiotic medication to me. He told me that he suspects some alien object is still left in my knee, stitched in absolute ignorance.

Holey shit.

He said there might be a possibility of having another surgeon reopen my stitches, clean it and stitch it back.

Blood drained out of my face. I do not like that possibility. At all.

The worst part is I might not be able to go to my well-deserved vacation to Thailand next month. I am devastated, since I am sincerely looking forward to a week of absolute sightseeing. DAMN YOU, MICROBEINGS, WHY CANT YOU FIND SOME OTHER TIME TO ROOT IN ME.

Please please, microbeings, having known me for a week now I am sure you have developed quite some bond with me right? I believe you have come to like me somehow given how generous I've been to you, letting you stay for free for over a month? So why dont you kindly die and come out as your gross fellow yellow stuff and let mommy go to Thailand?

Or I will resort to ancient crazy-cat-woman chanting to banish you, you little shit.

I did not mean that.

Happy birthday, mom!

Yesterday was Mom's birtday. It was surprisingly alot of fun. We gave her this Oscar trophy-card I found back in Rotterdam, written voor de beste moeder. It was in Dutch, true, but I got the idea that she understood just fine. The look on her face when she opened it was priceless, beaming with this new-found reasonless joy. She immediately looked for the perfect place for it in the house. It was heartwarmingly funny to see her put it in a cabinet, only to take it out and put it in another more suited place. Again, and again, until I lost track of where the card resides now.

We have this thing in our family, the birthday one gets to choose the place to eat that night. Usually my little brother uses this to somehow maneuvre us to eat at where he wants to eat that night. He would be whispering the name of the restaurant he feels like that night from behind the chairs, somehow thinking that we would be brainwashed. He thinks our brains are the size of peanuts. When my Dad realizes this and calls him, he would shriek like a girl: NIK SAID IT, pointing his fingers at me while running away.

Sometimes we get a sneak preview at the top of his underwear too, since he's now into this baggy pants thing. If you by any chance are oblivious to what it means, basically your hips is on the middle of your ass. So when you walk, we can see the upper part of your buttocks speaking. Right foot forward, left ass up: He. Left foot, right ass: Llo. He-llo. He-llo. And... Stop.

Anyways during dinner (we went to Mom's chosen place, my brother wanted to go there too) Dad asked us to pray for Mom before we eat. He started counting down, and I just stared there. I asked silently, to whom? But I dont think Mom would like that. So I hold my hands together and talked to myself,

Hey you. It's me. I know it's been awhile but it's my Mom's birthday. You know she deserves so much more so I wont waste your time by asking what you already knew. I just would like to ask if I can be here again to celebrate her many birthdays to come. I know, I am a selfish girl. But thanks anyway. Oh yeah and please bless this food we are about to digest. I know they are going to come out the same, but they look and smell fan-bloody-tastic! Hurray!

And yes, the food was absolutely fantastic. It was the best Indonesian food I've ever had. The place is new, very romantic. It reminds me of this charming little Italian bistro. Only more formal. I thought to myself WHERE HAVE I BEEN ALL THESE TIME. I had to resist this urge to run into the kitchen, dramatically burst open the door, panting for effect and scream EVERYBODY BUT THE CHEF GO OUT FOR YOUR LIFE. Then when it's just me and the chef, put on the Silar-evil-smile. Bam, he goes onto the walls. I would then point out my index finger in the direction of his forehead. Creeeeeeeeeeeeak. You know how it goes.