What do you say to a guy after you kicked his little friend?

So Internet, quick confession. I kneed a guy's peepee yesterday during kickboxing. I still feel so guilty! It was admittedly a bit weird, after the little unfortunate accident, I suggested that we stop sparring. He looked at me. No, continue. Hit me!

I stood there in my gloves and the image of Silas came flashing in my mind. Oh hell no, I said. I aint falling into this scheme. Next thing I know he'll be flashing his medical bills at me.

But I did feell really bad, so after practice, I came over to him to ask if he's OK. He told me I wasnt the first one who caused his weewee some pain, as he experienced similar experiences 3 times earlier that day.

I wasnt sure if that somehow made me feel less guilty.

The guy walking behind him commented that now he wont be able to make girls pregnant anymore. Then I told him that I've done a good deed indeed, taking into consideration the amount of euros he is now able to save from not buying condoms. He looked at me and said Oh so now you want me to get AIDS too?

No Work No Money

I've been busy looking for work these past few weeks. The reason is purely monetary. I'm saving up for Summer break, because it feels wrong to ask for more money from Ma and Pa for my vacation. Until now, each attempt results in nothing but failure. Bugger, it's so bloody difficult to get an English speaking job here in Rotterdam as a student!

I tried several job agencies, and after a few promising emails, they casually mention that btw, they can only help me if I have a work permit. Which you can only get if your spouse is Dutch.

So I've decided to apply myself, and naturally I tried a somehow Asian-centered last resort: a Japanese sushi restaurant. I asked my friend who is working there if they need some help, and she told me to come by and ask the floor manager myself to show that I am really interested. So I came after school today, and because I my Dutch is virtually non existent, they decided to put me behind the bar. She told me to show up tomorrow to start my "probation" and I smiled and said absolutely while cursing silently in my head since I would have to miss my kboxing practice.

We were just about to walk out when she called. Oh I almost forgot, do you speak Chinese? I looked at her, and replied something that would be translated into my Chinese is perhaps better than my Dutch, but still retarded. She looked at me, and start speaking Dutch to my friend.

Even with my elementary Dutch I understand that she was talking about me, and that no I cant work there because I dont speak Chinese.

I am in Holland and I cannot get a bloody part time bar job because I dont speak bloody Chinese.

It's almost February and now I am seriously considering upon selling my organs to afford my Summer vacation.

Sudden Enlightment

All of the sudden, I realized something that's been there all along but somehow never hits me: eating chips contributes a negative relationship to your sore throat.

Living alone can indeed make you dumb. Before you have different brains to remind you these things, but now it seems that one brain is nowhere close to enough! My favorite white shirt is now my pink shirt. Who couldve thought that you are supposed to divide your laundry based on colors?

I came home, my room is clean. I looked at the pile of clean clothes I'm supposed to fold neatly into my closet. They look so helpless piling on the floor. Looking. Looking. Moving on.

Welcome, 2009

Wow. 2009.

2008 went so fast you feel your head is still spinning.

2009. This is gonna take a little while to get used to.

So much went down in 2008. Is it what you expected? Some are. Some are even better. A moment of reflection made me realize that 2008 was like that ice cream rocky road. It's sweet, cold (winter sucks), bitter at times, rocky, but sprinkled with marshmallows.

I got into the university that I wanted. I got my very first piece of writing published. I tried things I shouldnt. I got the chance to meet wonderful, admirable and life coloring people, not only friends, but even enemies and mentors because they all make your life just a little bit different. I realized race does not matter, it's who they are that you befriend, not whatever background information they have.

I realized how spoilt I was. I know now that dishes do not just magically dissapear after you leave the dining table. Nor does your pile of clothes. Floors need to be vaccumed, food need to be prepared by yourself. You learn that you must make sacrifices. For isnt it true that scarcity is indeed inevitable. What matters is how you make the tradeoffs.

I realized theres so much more to life than what I assumed.

And so I wont burden myself with a bunch of resolutions this year. I know I'm gonna remember it only this week anyway. But one thing I wish to remember at all times: to be thankful. It's so easy to forget everything else when you have everything you wanted. The hard part is perhaps still being thankful when you got the nuts instead of the marshmallows.

There is so much little wonders that we should be thankful for. Hectic metropolitan life has perhaps made us forget that. The simple joy from a smile you get from a complete stranger. The mere fact that you still have a family, regardless, that loves you for who you are. Even when you give them nuts instead of marshmallows. Focusing on the little things that adds joy to your life, instead of the big issues that pushed you down to the icy winter ground.

So smile. Smile even for no reason. And realize once again that the world is wonderful. Even when it's 2009, with all the premature hopes and pessimism.

Have a rewarding 2009, everywhere you are, whoever you are.