After dinner tonight, Dad asked me to check whether my sisters and brother are online. So I took the stairs up, turned on my Messenger. Apparently everyone is online tonight. So I ran back down to tell him the news, and he decided to go up to my laptop to talk to them.
At first he put on his reading glasses and read our conversation as I type in everything that he says to them. Then he asked how this thing worked, and I ended up teaching him to type using a laptop.
It was heart-warming, seeing him struggling to press each words to form letters and phrases which are then sent as I pressed 'Enter'. I can tell he's concentrating real hard as he tries to find the word that he's looking for, scanning the keyboard continually to find different words, all with one hand. Then my sister replied, and he sat there, reading her reply, realizing that his reply doesnt suit her reply now, and asked me to erase it for him to type a whole new reply.
Awww.
The effort he put into communicating with his offsprings.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Farewell Chapel
We had our Year 12 Farewell Chapel this morning. Our last Chapel together after 2.5 years of attending it every Thursday morning, a routine that we might find a relief or even a burden to lose.
Next week would be our last week going to school; then we'll have a 2-weeks 'Study Leave' where we (according to the Australian curriculum) are excused not to attend school but may come to school to seek enlightment from respective teachers for our Final HSC, which will begin as of 18 October.
Ironically, going to school these days seemed to be a mundane task to accomplish. Learning Maths and Bahasa Indonesia was in my top not-to do list. Its like a plague students get, getting sick of attending school when they know how much they will miss it soon,
Very soon.
The prospect of the soon-ess is sureal. I cant believe everyone is going starting this December.
:( ---
By the way I cut my hair by myself yesterday. Eventhough I cannot and had never had any experience cutting hairs, nothing. The lesson to be learned? There are some things better left to the hands of hair-dressers. My hair looks retard.
Like my Maths.
Next week would be our last week going to school; then we'll have a 2-weeks 'Study Leave' where we (according to the Australian curriculum) are excused not to attend school but may come to school to seek enlightment from respective teachers for our Final HSC, which will begin as of 18 October.
Ironically, going to school these days seemed to be a mundane task to accomplish. Learning Maths and Bahasa Indonesia was in my top not-to do list. Its like a plague students get, getting sick of attending school when they know how much they will miss it soon,
Very soon.
The prospect of the soon-ess is sureal. I cant believe everyone is going starting this December.
:( ---
By the way I cut my hair by myself yesterday. Eventhough I cannot and had never had any experience cutting hairs, nothing. The lesson to be learned? There are some things better left to the hands of hair-dressers. My hair looks retard.
Like my Maths.
Monday, September 24, 2007
<3
Cute. Black haired. Adorable. Sexy. Big hearted. Visionary. Believer in destiny. Quick thinker. Super-hot in Fergie's videoclip. Perseverance. Cuddly. Sweet. Loving. Family guy. Selfless.Denica is falling, for Peter Petrelli.
Big HAHAs.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Teenage Talk
We had been friends since the 10th grade, and called ourselves PPGs for short, a name that has been translated into a lot of different acronyms eversince. Its easy to say that we are friends, that for this 3 years everyone knows that we are friends, that we play together, and that we are a group. Yet the 6 of us knew that we are plain play-mate, not friends. This, everyone dont know. They said that we looked solid rock, they were just seeing us from the pictures.
Which is OK, I guess. Its just.. We share only to another person, or mostly only 2 of the bunch would know, them who we call the closest. Perhaps the main problem is that we talk too much. We talk and yet never made it true. We promised to go here, there, here, there, do this, that, this and that. Yet none of the here, there, that and this ever came true. The reason? We're too busy with our individual lives.
As we approaches our final months together before we graduate, things have resurfaced into our minds. Why cant we be as solid as we look in the pictures? Everyone has this thought, some talked about it, but yet again, noone made it real. Its as if everyone is waiting for someone to make their first move, yet noone make their first move.
Its like we're waiting for nothing.
Furthermore I have a slight, no, cross that, major problem with 1 of the girls and havent been talking to her for like 3 months or so. The others know about it only recently, and have been asking questions to me. All I can say that she is a 'lying backstabbing bitch'. Every occassion they've been trying to talk me into making up with her. And always I said 'later'.
Today after school, as we wait for the afterschool's fundraising bazaar, we sat around in our new posh library and talked about things. We gave our opinions, I confronted my friend (whom I didnt speak to for 3 months), and we sat in silent. It was rather emotionally challenging, we talking of our problem thats there but never talked about, my eyes were hot when I presented my arguments with anger.
Alas, our (me and this friend) debate doesnt seem to reach a resolution. I still do feel mad at her, even until now. I told them that I cannot just let this go and make peace. Hell no.
Then another friend cried. She said that shes been very sad because we're not speaking to each other, because she cared for us regardless of how we dont seem to care for her. But she was wrong. We do care for her, well, at least I do. Seeing her cry just because of our stupid argument was heartbreaking. Everybody went silent, and she continued speaking of how she feels about this our cold war.
"I dont care even if you dont care for me, but I do care for you alot. And thats all what matters."
I told her that I will try. I will try, thats all Im promising. This is all too confusing, teenage problems are all too confusing. I am confused. But I will try.
Which is OK, I guess. Its just.. We share only to another person, or mostly only 2 of the bunch would know, them who we call the closest. Perhaps the main problem is that we talk too much. We talk and yet never made it true. We promised to go here, there, here, there, do this, that, this and that. Yet none of the here, there, that and this ever came true. The reason? We're too busy with our individual lives.
As we approaches our final months together before we graduate, things have resurfaced into our minds. Why cant we be as solid as we look in the pictures? Everyone has this thought, some talked about it, but yet again, noone made it real. Its as if everyone is waiting for someone to make their first move, yet noone make their first move.
Its like we're waiting for nothing.
Furthermore I have a slight, no, cross that, major problem with 1 of the girls and havent been talking to her for like 3 months or so. The others know about it only recently, and have been asking questions to me. All I can say that she is a 'lying backstabbing bitch'. Every occassion they've been trying to talk me into making up with her. And always I said 'later'.
Today after school, as we wait for the afterschool's fundraising bazaar, we sat around in our new posh library and talked about things. We gave our opinions, I confronted my friend (whom I didnt speak to for 3 months), and we sat in silent. It was rather emotionally challenging, we talking of our problem thats there but never talked about, my eyes were hot when I presented my arguments with anger.
Alas, our (me and this friend) debate doesnt seem to reach a resolution. I still do feel mad at her, even until now. I told them that I cannot just let this go and make peace. Hell no.
Then another friend cried. She said that shes been very sad because we're not speaking to each other, because she cared for us regardless of how we dont seem to care for her. But she was wrong. We do care for her, well, at least I do. Seeing her cry just because of our stupid argument was heartbreaking. Everybody went silent, and she continued speaking of how she feels about this our cold war.
"I dont care even if you dont care for me, but I do care for you alot. And thats all what matters."
I told her that I will try. I will try, thats all Im promising. This is all too confusing, teenage problems are all too confusing. I am confused. But I will try.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Changing Cards
Shit I just realized tonight that my 14-yr old brother is almost as tall as I am. 1 more cm and he'll pass me. Oh the agony of seeing myself stuck in this height and him growing taller each day! Haha I remember how my mom used to pick on him, saying that instead of getting taller, he's actually growing fatter. I too used to told him that hes fat and short. Right now he's actually skinny and almost taller than me. Guess the cards have turn now?
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Thinking After Before
Been doing tons of things to prepare for our graduation ceremony and prom night. Been selling food (yes, extra work for us the committee) to raise the severely-lacking prom funds. Yesterday we were excused from the last periods to do a practice for the graduation dance. We had to remember steps for the dance. Yes, it is that humiliating dance with cheesy 70s disco theme song picked by our beloved Maths teacher with a laugh on his face. We were also briefed on our upcoming farewell trip to Bali from 7-11 November! Wish we can skip/ fast-forward our lives to November without doing the final examination coming in 3 weeks :(
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Juvenile Crime
There were 3 people involved: the male friend, the female friend and the boy. The male and female friends are friends, the female and the boy are friends, but the male and the boy are not. The boy has a lot of enemies in school because he's a real pain who likes to rap.
This male friend of mine allegedly accused the boy of peeking into his female friend's blouse in the school's elevator last Tuesday. During senior lunch time, when we were busy selling food to raise prom funds, the male friend confronted the boy, and the boy didnt want to confess. The boy said that what he was doing was none of the male friend's business. The male friend snatched our apple pie's knife and held it up in the air to threaten the boy. The canteen's security came in between, and soon teachers started to meddle.
That night, the male friend brought with him 6 friends to the boy's house. The boy was punched. He tattled to the female friend (whose mom happens to be his mom's cooking partner) that he was beaten by 3-4 guys. He then got a medical proof of his wounds from the local hospital. He then report the beating to the police, even though they made peace earlier.
On the contrary, the story was indeed very different when told by the male friend. He said that the boy was only punched once by a guy, and he was basically daring them to punch him. He also claimed that the boy fought in self defense. They have video proof of the event.
Today my male friend received a letter. He was summoned by the court to attend a hearing tomorrow. He's not going tomorrw, so he said.
I wonder how this is going to end. The problem is the male and his bunch know people. People who can make this go away, at the boy's own expense. Furthermore, the male friend is offended by the boy's act of reporting this to the police after they made peace earlier, and is thinking to beat him some more.
I cant believe I befriended mafias.
This male friend of mine allegedly accused the boy of peeking into his female friend's blouse in the school's elevator last Tuesday. During senior lunch time, when we were busy selling food to raise prom funds, the male friend confronted the boy, and the boy didnt want to confess. The boy said that what he was doing was none of the male friend's business. The male friend snatched our apple pie's knife and held it up in the air to threaten the boy. The canteen's security came in between, and soon teachers started to meddle.
That night, the male friend brought with him 6 friends to the boy's house. The boy was punched. He tattled to the female friend (whose mom happens to be his mom's cooking partner) that he was beaten by 3-4 guys. He then got a medical proof of his wounds from the local hospital. He then report the beating to the police, even though they made peace earlier.
On the contrary, the story was indeed very different when told by the male friend. He said that the boy was only punched once by a guy, and he was basically daring them to punch him. He also claimed that the boy fought in self defense. They have video proof of the event.
Today my male friend received a letter. He was summoned by the court to attend a hearing tomorrow. He's not going tomorrw, so he said.
I wonder how this is going to end. The problem is the male and his bunch know people. People who can make this go away, at the boy's own expense. Furthermore, the male friend is offended by the boy's act of reporting this to the police after they made peace earlier, and is thinking to beat him some more.
I cant believe I befriended mafias.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Midnight Prank and Resolution
Im in such a good mood tonight. Been having some online pranks through MSN with my friend, and honestly I feel much better now compared to previous days. Geez, laughter from ignorance and stupidity is indeed a remedy for everything.
--
Tonight I feel that my mind is very clear, as clear as the starless sky of Jakarta. Positivity is currently running through my vein. John Pizzarelli is still singing oh so smoothly from my iTunes.
I've been doing some thinking.
I want to help the people around me. I realized Ive been a completely selfish person, putting my needs and wants above others. Well now everything is about to be changed. I do hope I am capable of such deed. Im not exactly talking helping people in a radical way i.e. helping them to cheat and giving them all my possessions for their better lives. Nah, seems too bullshit for me.
Im thinking of helping others with their grades. Doing some individual lectures. Using what I have to ease other's struggles, even in the slightest way.
Thinking about it now, it might actually be fun. I read once in Readers Digest that the meaning of your life does not imply from what you think you've done with your life, but what others remember you by when one day you shall leave this world.
Maybe some day some where, people might remember me as the one who helped them get into college. Or at least the one putting a smile on their face. I wonder what that feels like, when others smile sincerely in gratitude, for what you have done for them.
Bet it would be somewhat like this? The corner of my lips havent cease to drop eversince I started writing this post. Hope it'll last :)
--
Tonight I feel that my mind is very clear, as clear as the starless sky of Jakarta. Positivity is currently running through my vein. John Pizzarelli is still singing oh so smoothly from my iTunes.
I've been doing some thinking.
I want to help the people around me. I realized Ive been a completely selfish person, putting my needs and wants above others. Well now everything is about to be changed. I do hope I am capable of such deed. Im not exactly talking helping people in a radical way i.e. helping them to cheat and giving them all my possessions for their better lives. Nah, seems too bullshit for me.
Im thinking of helping others with their grades. Doing some individual lectures. Using what I have to ease other's struggles, even in the slightest way.
Thinking about it now, it might actually be fun. I read once in Readers Digest that the meaning of your life does not imply from what you think you've done with your life, but what others remember you by when one day you shall leave this world.
Maybe some day some where, people might remember me as the one who helped them get into college. Or at least the one putting a smile on their face. I wonder what that feels like, when others smile sincerely in gratitude, for what you have done for them.
Bet it would be somewhat like this? The corner of my lips havent cease to drop eversince I started writing this post. Hope it'll last :)
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Anorexia
Wikipedia described anorexia as: "a psychiatric diagnosis that describes an eating disorder characterized by low body weight and body image distortion with an obsessive fear of gaining weight."
It's funny how you see people around you (esp female beings) getting all freaked out when dealing with weight problems. It's like there's this simple paradigm implanted into the society's mindset: thinner equals better.
Dieting seems like an everyday topic in the school: girls who brought apples for both breakfasts and lunchs, girls who starve themselves with biscuits to avoid eating rice and the possibility of getting fatter, and other similar cases. Frankly some people accused me of having some traits of anorexia, although I prefer using the stairs and abandoning the elevator on a daily basis compared to starving myself and risking the possibility of other negative effects of dieting.
First of all, how can people not enjoy eating? I do admit that I dont really have fat genes in me, and its indeed harder for me to gain weight (now, underweight, still this is the fatest I've ever been in my life). How can they object the simple pleasures in life: cheesecakes, creamy chocolate milk, cheese, caramel, and all sort of desserts?
Still, who am I to accuse them? I admit that often I felt rather sick of my current state of beings, and seriously trying to exercise more to lose that extra fat. I admit that I cant be that extreme like they did, dieting and all sorts. I am a dessert person, and a dessert person does not do diet when there's treats luring you with temptations.
Perhaps this is the first time that I admit formally that I do may have some mentality problem over my weight. I always jerked off everytime my friend told me Im anorexic. The truth is, I am not. And even the strongest of my will power to get thinner will only last 1 week the longest. I am indeed a complainer.
Several friends who went through some weight-loss processes (i.e. by minimizing food consumption extremely) found it harder to concentrate in classes, felt that the class's air cons are even colder, but felt extremely satisfied over her self image of being thinner. This leads to another state: I want to be even thinner so that I'll feel even better.
Yes. This is the reality kicking in. This is the world. But can we really blame these females for attempting to feel better?
What really initiated this trend, this demand for females to be thin as a standard of acceptable? Is it the presence of super thin models waving back and fro with happy smiles showed literally everwhere? Or the fact that most designer labels made their clothes even smaller with each passing day? I dont really know what happened to us all, but I do hope that this is only a phase that shall pass soon.
The truth is, Im getting really woried over 1 of my best friend, struggling to keep her weight as low as her role model, Lionel Richie's adopted daughter. I saw her becoming very thin these past few months, she claimed that she felt better over her self image and would like to lose more (the more we said she's very skinny, the happier she felt).
What I feared is that her happiness will demand costs to be paid in higher value.
It's funny how you see people around you (esp female beings) getting all freaked out when dealing with weight problems. It's like there's this simple paradigm implanted into the society's mindset: thinner equals better.
Dieting seems like an everyday topic in the school: girls who brought apples for both breakfasts and lunchs, girls who starve themselves with biscuits to avoid eating rice and the possibility of getting fatter, and other similar cases. Frankly some people accused me of having some traits of anorexia, although I prefer using the stairs and abandoning the elevator on a daily basis compared to starving myself and risking the possibility of other negative effects of dieting.
First of all, how can people not enjoy eating? I do admit that I dont really have fat genes in me, and its indeed harder for me to gain weight (now, underweight, still this is the fatest I've ever been in my life). How can they object the simple pleasures in life: cheesecakes, creamy chocolate milk, cheese, caramel, and all sort of desserts?
Still, who am I to accuse them? I admit that often I felt rather sick of my current state of beings, and seriously trying to exercise more to lose that extra fat. I admit that I cant be that extreme like they did, dieting and all sorts. I am a dessert person, and a dessert person does not do diet when there's treats luring you with temptations.
Perhaps this is the first time that I admit formally that I do may have some mentality problem over my weight. I always jerked off everytime my friend told me Im anorexic. The truth is, I am not. And even the strongest of my will power to get thinner will only last 1 week the longest. I am indeed a complainer.
Several friends who went through some weight-loss processes (i.e. by minimizing food consumption extremely) found it harder to concentrate in classes, felt that the class's air cons are even colder, but felt extremely satisfied over her self image of being thinner. This leads to another state: I want to be even thinner so that I'll feel even better.
Yes. This is the reality kicking in. This is the world. But can we really blame these females for attempting to feel better?
What really initiated this trend, this demand for females to be thin as a standard of acceptable? Is it the presence of super thin models waving back and fro with happy smiles showed literally everwhere? Or the fact that most designer labels made their clothes even smaller with each passing day? I dont really know what happened to us all, but I do hope that this is only a phase that shall pass soon.
The truth is, Im getting really woried over 1 of my best friend, struggling to keep her weight as low as her role model, Lionel Richie's adopted daughter. I saw her becoming very thin these past few months, she claimed that she felt better over her self image and would like to lose more (the more we said she's very skinny, the happier she felt).
What I feared is that her happiness will demand costs to be paid in higher value.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Everything Happens for a Reason
It sounds cliche, I know. I used to grunt and mock it in silence everytime a friend tried to comfort me with that phrase for any horrible events that happened to me. What reason? I used to ask myself. What reason could be so great and tempting and awesome that I have to suffer this first?
Yesterday I was proven wrong. There is indeed a greater, better deed waiting for you around the corner for every bad things that struck you. We lost the debate for the extremely unfair adjudicator. He basically slept almost the whole time we are infront talking, and gesturing friendliness and confident whenever the opposition speaks. Yeah, we were pissed off all right.
But then I decided to spend the rest of my afternoon lazying around in Michelle's luxurious apartment, swimming and playing with the cold water in the sunny day. The pool was breathtaking, the surface reflected the sun, producing some kind of a luminous layer of water. We dived, swam, fooled around, laughed and giggled. Then these 3 white guys in the jacuzzi started to talk to us. After all that, chatting with them proven to be the highlight of our evening.
Then as we bade good-byes and see-yous, we took the elevator up to get ready for Paulina's sweet 17th birthday dinner in Marriot Hotel. Surprise, surprise, everyone came late. Hence me and a friend decided to go up to the hotel's pool side where we lay on the couches, she smoked and I looked up to the gigantic buildings.
Right there I felt really small in this world. That there's an unknown, greater reason beyond my understanding why shit happens to me. And we stayed there, watching the black, starless sky with a much better feeling.
Yesterday I was proven wrong. There is indeed a greater, better deed waiting for you around the corner for every bad things that struck you. We lost the debate for the extremely unfair adjudicator. He basically slept almost the whole time we are infront talking, and gesturing friendliness and confident whenever the opposition speaks. Yeah, we were pissed off all right.
But then I decided to spend the rest of my afternoon lazying around in Michelle's luxurious apartment, swimming and playing with the cold water in the sunny day. The pool was breathtaking, the surface reflected the sun, producing some kind of a luminous layer of water. We dived, swam, fooled around, laughed and giggled. Then these 3 white guys in the jacuzzi started to talk to us. After all that, chatting with them proven to be the highlight of our evening.
Then as we bade good-byes and see-yous, we took the elevator up to get ready for Paulina's sweet 17th birthday dinner in Marriot Hotel. Surprise, surprise, everyone came late. Hence me and a friend decided to go up to the hotel's pool side where we lay on the couches, she smoked and I looked up to the gigantic buildings.
Right there I felt really small in this world. That there's an unknown, greater reason beyond my understanding why shit happens to me. And we stayed there, watching the black, starless sky with a much better feeling.
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