Ribbonized

Added ribbons on the cheap-looking invitations, spent the whole night tying instead of studying for today's Maths. In the end failed to do Maths properly, unable to concentrate, mind bogging to god knows where. Which is pretty fine. Strange, have been trying to study Maths for the week before. Still no regret in failing to perform as good as I was in the lessons.

The other weird-er thing is: I actually quite enjoyed doing it in the first hour. But lost my concentration for the next 2 hours. Maybe Maths isnt so bad. If you know what to do.

Prom Invitation

Shit Im so pissed. Prior to the deadline, we have to print the invitations without the dummy (the 1 piece to ensure the color is precisely what I designed). We had to postpone the printing because of some technicalities, and was extremely anxious about whether the invitation will come off on time (before Monday).

I had to resize and redesign the invitation twice for 2 days because of some petty technicalities that came up in the last minute, and the printing guys werent so accurate in determining which to revise in the first time.

Right now Im sitting with a dissapointed face. The printing was badly done, the invitation look... Cheap. Far, far away from what I expected it to be. They increased the opacity of the red cover because they're afraid if the printed the red like orange. And they ended up printing it too red, making the fonts too orange, and the whole thing just became a dissapointment (to me).

Well at least the prom itself is going to be great.

I hope?

---

3 fav questions among girls with 2 more HSC exams coming up:

1. Have you found ur prom dress? Are you going to make it or buy it?

2. What type of dress are you going to be wearing? What color? How long?

3. Have yu studied for the HSC?

Between HSC Exams

Done 3 HSC Exams: Indonesian Background Speakers, English as a Second Language and Business Studies. 2 more to go; Maths next Monday and Economics on 6 November. 1 week period in between for study (because in Australia, this 1 week is filled with other subject's exams that we do not get in our school, like Spanish and Drama and others).

Even until yesterday, when the supervisors were signing the proof-paper conerning our answer booklets and we were told to relax and face the front, I dont really get the idea of me doing the HSC. Of me doing the last exam in my highschool year.

Of me doing the exam that we've been preparing for 2 and a half year.

Of me doing the exam that will be a turning point that changes everything, no more shall I come to school to a class filled with 27 people, all eating and doing everything but studying, like usual, late. No more shall I come to school, go down with Michelle to grab a croissant during break time, eat and complaint with my beautiful bunch of friends during lunch.

No more will the teachers tell us to study for our HSC. It's here already. And I'm halfway to finish it.

As we waited for the supervisors to finish signing the whole papers, I looked to my question booklet.

Its written "HSC Examination 2007"

Not "HSC Examination 2006", or "HSC Examination 2005", or the other past papers that we've done along the way in preparation for this paper sitting nicely infront of me.

2 more to go. 2 more papers to complete to bade the others goodbye.

Everything is going to change, and we actually have to do a test to flip the page.

HSC And Others

Havent been doing much but trying, striving and struggling quite desperately to cram 15 prescribed texts in a day for Indonesian HSC last Thursday and doing the same for (fortunately) 3 poems, 1 film and 1 novel for Friday's English Paper 1. In conclusion, this is not a good way to start my HSC. Failure to concentrate and inability to write in the time constraint was not a very good indication of my result.

My parents are back finally from their 2 weeks vacation in Beijing with some friends.

I spent my Friday roaming the streets with Audilia in search for Eveline's house. Suceeded after 2 hours drive. Luckily I wasnt driving. I would literally die from the stress and panic of so much things to think through. Hence Friday went academically unproductive.

Yesterday parents took me and brother for dimsum. Then straight away I went to Starbucks to tutor Eveline and my mafia-friend for Monday's English Paper 2. From then, straight to Tony Roma's to attend Chrispian's birthday dinner, and ended up spenting the night at the nearest Coffee Bean. Home by midnight, legs dying from the heels worn throughout the night. Went to bed. Hence Saturday went academically unproductive.

In short, my weekend sucks (academically).

---

To you (you know who yu are) who play out to be Mr Nice Guy at first but a prick in the end, Im sorry for not being able to play the role of who you wanted me to be. Im sorry I havent been replying ur SMS and IMs, its just you honey. You have your own issues, so leave me out of it. I dont want to be there anyway.

I dont think you have the right to post that as ur nickname because you're not a somebody in my life anyway. And puh-lease, keep your grammar adequate before you state something thats meant to another person in MSN :) it is kinda embarassing for you, you know.

Study Leave

I am a pig.

Teacher (T): "What do pigs do, children?"

Student 1: "Sleep!"

Student 2: "Eat!"

Student 3: "Sit all day infront of the TV and computer!"

Student 4: "Further eating!"

T: "Right, and what dont pigs do?"

Student 1,2,3,4: "Study during their Study Leave!"

T: "And their most destructive habit that they know they'll regret one day?"

Student 1,2,3,4: "Procastinate."





I am a pig.


***

Have been coming to school everyday for the last week with hope to study. Hung out in the library, had meetings with various teachers, all unique experiences.

Maths.
1 question explained. Mind wandering what to eat later today. Another question explained. Joked about the teacher's sexy round abs. Part of the question explained. Begging him to stop after this one. 3 days, Done 4 questions in total.

English.
Attentive at first. Teacher explains this and this. I wrote on my notebook, pretty neat handwriting at first. Teacher explains this and this. Handwriting gone wild. Mind wandering here and there, looking at the clock and some students playing poker on the next couch. Teacher explains this and this.

Bahasa Indonesia.
Overall adequately attentive. Luckily Bahasa's the 1st tutor, mind's still fresh/focused?

Business.
Done today, as the school's closed (red date), meet with teacher at Starbucks. Ordered. Teacher explains. I write. Teacher explains. I write. Teacher explains. I sip. Teacher explains. I finished my Machiato.

Holy shit Im so freakin unproductive.

Arent We All?

Have you ever heard of the term 'friends in need'?

Probably you have, or havent. I dont know. I suppose an intrepretation would suggest that a good friend is the ones who's there in need as oppose to only in good times.

But we tend to search for someone only when we need them, and treat them like garbage when we dont have anything important to do with them yet, until the day when we need them again. As in another intrepretation of the abose phrase: friends searched only when in need.

What do those friends do? They smile in understanding. "That's just human nature", said them. It's probably better to be looked for once in a while than not being acknowledged at all.

It is the belief that helped us go through every booty-call. But one day, alas God knows when, some of them got sick and tired of it to say "the hell with he/she" and moved on.

Do you like to be those accepting the booty calls? But who are we to comment. Some, or most of the times, we are the one who made that call, and someone on the other end's answering it.

Guess everybody's the same, whether or not they acknowledge it, whether they did it unconsciously, or deliberately. Its time for us to look within to know.

Last Day of School

Today is officially the end of my school days. This morning is the last time I will ever have to wake up that early, each and every dreadful morning for this past 2 and half years. This morning will be the last time of me coming to school 1hr late and getting After School Devotion for being late.

Tomorrow onwards I will stay home for 1 and half week for my Study Leave before attending school again for my HSC Exam in 18th of Oct.

I cant believe I wont be coming late ever again to school to find myself entering the weirdest class I have ever joined: my precious 12-4 (now 12-3 after the merger). The class where Michelle cut my hair during Maths. Where Michelle gave Michael a facial at the back of the class. The class where we passed magazines during lesson esp Maths. The class where we learnt together in the past 6 months. The class that I've grown attatched to.

Eventhough I may be coming back next year to attend the UAN class to wait for my univ's intake in Sept, I know that nothing will ever be the same.

Like what Audilia wrote, graduation is indeed only 1 step ahead, before we scatter all around the world to unknown years apart.

Prayer Meeting

We were excused from 3 periods after Lunch time to attend our last Yr 12 Prayer Meeting conducted by Yr 12 teachers. This meeting is basically a routine that's there each and every year, a meeting where we sat as a year group and listen to some teachers and students pray for our upcoming HSC, our parental support for the HSC, a condusive environment either in school or in our country for our HSC, our future etc etc.

By (almost) the end of the sermon, we had Principal's Message, a sharing given by the principal of our school. She talked about how a night she was turning on her computer to print off some documents while reading the newspaper. There, she read about Kenji Nagai, a Japanese reporter who was shot to death when reporting in Myanmar (the actual article here). As soon as she finished reading this, she leaned across the table to get some used paper to print the documents. And you know what she found there? Her daughter's Curriculum Vitae (CV) when she applied for an internship at the Jakarta Post last June.

She read the CV for us. Her daughter (Jenna) was a passionate believer in words, she believes that words can change people. Her love for journalism developed slowly, but steady.

"I live side by side with poverty in this country. I understand it. When I was in high school, I used to go to kampongs to talk with the people, and write something about it, to be distributed to others around me. I know this is slow, but I believe that words can make a difference."

Her mom (the principal herself) was near to tears as she read the lines to us.

"I believe in my country," she wrote.

Jenna is now in Japan, pursuing further education in journalism. The reason her mom was so near to tears is because she believes that this coincidence (reading an article about Kenji and Jenna's CV) is God trying to tell her something.

She was overcome with emotion, that one day, alas, her daughter might be Kenji. And she'll be in the same position as Kenji's mom now. She knows that her daughter is passionate about this, and she might put her life on the second place as she pursues her story. The whole room is silent.

And deep inside me, there's this respect growing for Jenna, a girl whom I have never even met before in my life. She had a purpose, her life might be meaningful limited to those around her, but someday as she fulfills her purpose, I believe that she will touch much more, strangers like me who have never met her.

You can make a meaning out of your life. But to have a purpose, you'll have to listen deep into your heart.