My Family is Damn Evil

It has come to my attention that my family is evil. What kind of pure-hearted people, after 4 months of their dear sister and daughter's absence, would come up with these remarks when they saw a picture of their beloved sister and daughter in Rotterdam:

Mom: "Holey shit did you gain 10kgs??"

Older sister: "Crap is that your arm or your thigh?"

Oldest sister: "Well you are a midget. So all those fat goes straight to your width instead of your length. Just see your deformed abnormal looking fingers."

Older brother: "Nice, sugar-addict sister."

Right now I miss them more than ever, to hug them and show off my deformed middle finger. Bastards. Except for you, Mom and Dad! Please dont disown me and stop my money supply!

I guess I am one of them hahahahahaha muahahahahahahahha.

Scrooge-y Christmas

Here's an interesting paper I read yesterday. No I am not weird, this thing just pops out of nowhere and I happened to not have anything else better to do. No, dammit, I am not a nerd.

Well OK maybe a little bit. On a purely self justification reasons, being a nerd is not a bad thing. Nerd is the new cool. Ha!

Such a thing you wouldnt expect to hear from an economist, for long been thought as selfish, benefit minded etc. It is true and I completely agree that a gift shouldnt be lavish in order for it to be remembered. Most of the times the value that the receiver put on the present is much less compared to the cost the buyer had to pay for it. Gifts should instead be thoughtful, or better yet something that you made yourself. Something you wouldnt expect coming from an economist.

I am a present person. I love presents. I especially love wrapping them. Eventhough I am lacking any giftwrapping skills thereof. I had to glue the ribbons to the stupid box just to make it stay muaha (which explains why the ribbon is both pink and red (A) ). Creativity beats natural gifts, I'm telling ya.

Moreover, I love receiving them (unshameful confession). I love love love the feeling when you pulled the ribbon slowly with building anticipation of knowing what could it possibly be. Could it be a doll? A CD? Or quite often now, your friend's idea of a prank, to give you some weird sex-related object.

No it's not funny. My friends are perverts. Sometimes I am tempted to give them a soap as a present to wash their dirty brains.

Also today...


...Drumrolls...

...My sister's birthday!!!! HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY, CACA!!! This calls for celebration (and presents :) ), when I get home :) :) :) Wishing you a great one!

EYASU IS LATE

And Denica is HUNGRY. EYASU EYASU EYASU IS LATE AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN DENICA IS HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY. Stoopid stoopid stoopid.

Man I love Rotterdam.

I am back in Rotterdam again. Feels good to be home (eventhough its not 'home' home). I went back 2 nights ago. The moment I stepped out the train, I cant help but smile, and all I want to do is hug somebody. Thank God I didnt give in to my natural instincts or people might think that I'm a freak.

Eventhough I've been thought worse before.

Dammit EYASU EYASU EYASU COME SOON I AM SO HUNGRY.

Anyways I cooked today and it turned out AWESOME. I imagine its imaginary packaging, written in the ingridients section: 100% awesomeness. I. Am. Hungry.

Food.

Food.

FOOD.

All of the sudden it's so cold now. It dropped to negative celcius in a blink. I didnt know, and I was stupid enough to wear my one and only white jogging short this morning. I think if, IF, someone would come up to me from an alley and chop my legs, I wouldnt even feel anything.

Maybe I should come out from an alley and chop Eyasu's legs. Oh or his curls. That would hurt more.

Christmas without these retards

I miss these retards, minus my big sister (because she lives here too, duh!) but plus my big brother (because he's an evil retard who is proudly willing to make me look like a retard just to make him look cool). My sissy little brother's girly shriek, my sister's pure evilness, and the homey feeling Ma and Pa brought when theyre around.

Cant wait :)

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Christmasing with strippers with big boobs

Yes, I am spending Chrismas in Amsterdam, the most liberal city in the most liberal coutry in the world. Today I wandered around alone, with nothing planned. The stores are mostly identical to Rotterdam, so I decided to go to smaller shops. It was awesome. I found this puny English bookstore (yes, I am still a Dutch illiterate) that sells vintage books and ended up spending 2 hours browsing through their book cabinets.

I love bookstores. I love the smell of that new crisp books, the feeling on your fingers when you touch the unopened covers. Of course, second hand books work just as well for me. I am just too much of a bookgeek to resist :)

Then I decided to go for a run. I dont know my way around here, so the word 'lost' came flashing in my mind numerously. But I liked it. I am always lost. But for me it helps me to learn. As pathetic as that sounds, I learn better when I'm lost. Lucky I always find my way back, or else it would be bad.

My friends once joked that I should wear a collar with my name and address and emergency number for people to call when they found me.

Bastards.

Anyways I think Amsterdam is more Christmassy in a sense compared to Rotterdam. When I went running, I stopped at times just to stare at the black canals with Christmas lights from the nearby houses glistening on its surface (it's not icky dirty black, it was just dark). I find it beautiful.

It's also amusing how you run and in some areas, it's not fresh night air that fills your lungs but the sour smell of weeds. I find it funny. I like to think that it's the only thing that kept me going while my lungs are demanding for me to just pay and take the tram home.

I cant believe it's my first Christmas away from home. I can't wait to go home on April for 2 weeks of nothing and I mean nothing but sun and great food.

Weird Scribbles from Lectures

The bitch got the Leontif graph all wrong ;)

The Fear of Flunking

After a whole weekend of Micro, MY BRAIN IS COMITTING SUICIDE. It's running around naked, shouting and jumping off from the cliff one cell to another. Today I woke up, tried to do 1 chapter and I realized my brain has completely shut itself off. I knocked, pleading for mercy but it firmly says NO. NO MORE, WHORE.

I'm so gonna fail.

Anomalously, I like micro. I do, I really do. Thats why the suckiness of failing the stoopid midterm exceeds the cost of failing (which is YOU HAVE TO GET HIGHER GRADE IN THE EXAM). Which is damn impossible.

I think my brain function is enjoying the application of the Law of Diminishing Return. It goes wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo to 0 productivity.

I am turning into a bloody nerd.

Gala

Went to my first gala last Friday, it was so much fun! Pretty unconventional, but awesome nonetheless. We had fine dining (which consist of literally portions for a hobbit on a food strike) with some jazzy classic christmas carols, free flow of white wine and good conversations.

After that, we had presidential speech, and straight to partying. No, no slow dancing or such like what I was drooling about, but straight down to business. Oh well. It was funny in a way hahaha.

And guess what I gave my date? A palm-size smiling from ear-to-ear flower doll that he end up putting on his chest pocket all night long. It was so funny. I didnt know that we had to adhere to the theme "Roaring Twenties", and I only thought that we were supposed to our dates gold gifts. And because I, ehem, was so lazy that I left the gift-hunt until 3 hrs before the gala, I couldnt find anything gold and decent.

So I figure the flower would look gold proportionate to people's alcohol consumption.

And it was so funny. When I gave him the gift, my date looked at me like I'm wearing a Teletubies costume. And I burst out laughing.

Lucky he was such a gentleman that he put it on the whole night. And it was so funny, everyone would come up to him and made remarks like "What the hell?". And I just stare blankly at them with my most innocent expression and say "I have nothing to do with it."

Irish Pub, Late Night Calories and SNOW!

Went to the local Irish Pub last night with Moss Hair. It was so much fun!!! Personally, the Irish Pub is my fav pub here (which explains why I finally can convince MH to come along :p) but yesterday was plain awesome!

We watched this live band performing, all the excitement and energy! Then we went home all smiling and ate fried spicy chicken wings and burgers. Yeah, I felt so sexy at that moment! ;)

It's been raining hail since 2 days ago, and we saw the cars covered in hail, so we wrote down "DENICA" on them. And we found the star Orion on the sky!!! Having a platonic guy best friend is the best thing in life, I'm telling ya. He likes it if we use him to get guys!!! It must be his tight buttocks ;)

And now it's SNOWING. I just wokeup, sleepily opened my white curtains, and I stood in awe of little white flakes falling gracefully from the sky.

:) :) :)

I could just die of too much fun.

It's my first time seeing snow and it's so awesome!!! Last night me and MH wished for a white christmas, like in the movies. So let's start crossing our fingers :)

Creole

Here's a piece in Jakarta Post on sis's chocolate cafe.

Did I tell you how proud I am of you? I know you worked hard for it :) Can't wait to go home and doodle there eating cakes and meringues all day long :) :) :)

How Microeconomics Ruined Her Night

It was so cliche.

After lecture today, we had 4hrs free to study for the midterm. Decided to went through the slides. Casually asked her friends, "Does anyone know how to compute the optimum points for intertemporal budget curve?"

"WTH are you talking about. Theres no such thing. Stop making up stuff."

So we went in the exam hall, all nervous and singing "You Are My Sunshine" to make use of the extra energy boost from the cappuccino we had earlier. Sat down. More singing and drooling over the hot tutor who was supervising the exam. Laughing and screaming. If only we knew.

We got the papers, facing down. Waited for the entire hall to receive their papers. When the tutor said "Start", the whole room was filled with flipping-paper noises.

Question one.

Given this and this. Compute the equilibrium for the consumption for both periods and savings. In other words, Compute the optimum points for the intertemporal budget constraint.

Right there right then, I only wished the professor would storm into the hall and scream "Gotcha! Here's the REAL exam paper, that was just something to stop your heart a beat!"

:(

I was listening to Coldplay's 'Life in Technicolors' for the first time here. The familiar tunes, all of the sudden my insides churned. It's like someone's squeezing my stomach. The last time I listened to these songs, I was cross-stitching like mad trying to finish the bears which I never did. Lil brother is just outside, watching his fav Indonesian soap opera, sis is gonna be home soon from her cafe, Mom and Dad just a staircase away.

And I realize I miss home.

I have 7 chapters and 2 days. And I cant even concentrate. If you're skrewed and you know it clap your hands.

*Claps*

Went kickboxing today. Still as hell-ish as before, now exhausted and blistered. Saw someone I havent seen in 2 months. Saw him, said hi and smiled. Then for some reason just continued practising while he's standing outside looking. Sometimes I think my brain cells are not even working. How stupid can I be? Guess who's consumed by regrets now?

I hate regrets. Ditto for homesickness. You dont get them that often, but once in a while, it struck you when you least expect it.

Miss ya, bro, sis, mom and dad.

Thinks Galas are created to kill you slowly

So my study association is holding this Pre-Christmas gala at the end of this month. Problem is, it is compulsory for us to bring dates which are not active members of the association. I've been ignoring this by consciously telling myself that it's still far away so I can deal with it later. But now it's 2 weeks to D-day. The clock is frigging ticking. And my fellow active members have been all over me asking who am I gonna take to the gala.

Do you know how hard it is to just randomly pick someone from your class to bring as your date?

Furthermore, do you know how hard it is to ask him if he wants to go to the gala with you with all the adverse potential answers?

People should just mate and die.

After much narrowing down options, I came out with 1 possibility. Problem is, havent talked to him since before the exams, which is last month. This morning, I made up my mind to just go ahead and ask him, and here I am after school NOT HAVING A DATE YET.

Why?

BECAUSE THIS GIRL IS TOO CHICKEN SHIT TO JUST GO AHEAD AND ASK SOMEONE TO BE HER DATE FOR THE STUPID PRECHRISTMAS GALA.

I swear to god I would degrade myself with Facebook or something one of these days.

I know I really need to ask someone SOON as they'll need to buy/borrow/steal a penguin suit to look pretty and be my trophy date.

Which reminds me, I dont have a dress yet.

Galas are a tool of modern torture, I'm telling you.

This is what you get after 3 months of being a lump of lard

My ass is sore like hell. My thigh is crying with my every step. My back hurts everytime I attempted to laugh.

I havent been working out (except for my short biking days in the Summer-Autumn transition, now its biking and be an icycle) ever since I got to Holland, and yesterday I finally went to my first kickboxing class. It was hell. HELL.

We were made to jump-rope for 20mins non stop, with pushups in between. My heart was pumping so hard I think its gonna explode, and some guys didnt even break a sweat holey sweetness. Then we were made to do endless situps, in VARIOUS POSITIONS. Crunches, pullups, everything you can imagine. I was like, "SHIT", the whole time.

And that was only the warming up.

Yesterday the trainer wanted us to focus on lower kicks, which explains why my ass and thigh are punishing me now. In between, I wished I was dead. My ass wished it was dead. My thigh wished it's on its way to cremation. Then my trainer come to me and say, "You're here to train, bitch, not to whine."

OK maybe he didnt use the word bitch. But you get the point.

Then we were made to attempt a free fight, with one only rule, only lower kicks are allowed. The trainer did an example for us with a veteran from the group, and they were ENTANGLED, until the trainer made some lower kicks and shoved him down. HOLEY COW. I was just staring there, and spontaneously asked, "So we're supposed to hug him??"

The others looked at me and burst out laughing. "Yes but no kissing!"

What the sweet holy... Blanket (trying to reduce the amount of cursing from now onwards).

But that was good.

And it's weekend!!! Hurah! Planning on leaving for a day trip around Amsterdam in 1 hr :)

Looking forward for one hell of a complete retardation filled day.

Amsterdam here we come :)

You Know I Love You!!!

D: "E is a big retard."

E: "D is fat, a lump of useless lard."

D: "E is the laziest retard who skips lectures to have sex!"

E: "D wants to have sex with L, her tutor and me. Cause I'm hot. And not fat. Unlike her."

D: "E wants to have babies with his micro tutor who is NOT HOT unlike D's"

E: "D wants to have sex with her neanderthal tutor because she has bad taste!"

D: "E has no taste."

E: "D is stupid."

D: "E is stupid."

E: "D thinks goldfishes are made of gold. Who's stupid now, HUH?"

D: "E makes things up."

E: "People like D belongs in the mental institution."


I LOVE YOU RETARD, eventhough our friendship is based on me pitying you for being such a retard.

Things I Learned in Holland (Copied)

I found this in my friend's Facebook profile, and it is SO TRUE! Except for number 36. No. Big no-no. But some are so true it's so funny, like number 8, 9, 15, 17, 33 and 35!



--

1.There are 2 food groups: Bread and Stuff you put on it
2.Biking is a part of everyday life.
3.The only thing keeping you from going to a party is not having money, but you go anyways and deal with being broke for 2 weeks.
4.Public transportation is the best and worst thing ever.
5.An Ipod is your best friend.
6.Apparently letting your underwear hangout is fashionable
7.More than 2 people can sleep in a twin bed.
8.Get drunk before you go out, it saves money
9.Homework is non-existent, and is never done.
10.Dutch Boys are weird, and South Americans are better
11.Your dutch host mother is the scariest person you've ever met.
12.Drinking at school is a monthly thing!
13.Smoking is accepted and it is a good conversation starter.
14.Don't buy drinks, make boys buy them for you.
15.You wake up in the morning after going out and have bruises.
16.When you hang out with other exchangies, you know the photos will be amazing and are up on every website you have the next day.
17.Your hometown doesn't seem as bad as it did when you left.
18.You miss your animals more than your parents.
19.Wearing the same thing 2 days in a row is okay!
20. Deodrant should be applied as a spray, not a stick. (no matter how terrible it is for the enviroment)
21.Any kind of bath products from America are GOLD!
22.Amsterdam is STILL a big deal. (except for Rachel)
23.Bar Hopping is better than Christmas
24.Going to church once a year is totally cool, you will still go to heaven..YOU'RE DUTCH!
25.Kaassouffle helps sober you up.
26.Peeing in public is acceptable.
27.The Public WC is the most disgusting thing you've ever seen.
28.Dutch people cannot dance.
29.Your best dutch friend is fluent in English.
30.You spend a lot of weeknights on myspace and facebook.
31.You don't shower in the morning because it means you can sleep later!
32.You will leave early so you don't have to bike fast to school.
33.You are not a sugarcube! Rain will not kill you.
34.Host brothers and sisters suck sometimes.
35.No matter how nice you try to look in the morning, you get off your bike and look like shit.
36.You have kissed both boys and girls, just for fun.
37.You make dumb videos and put them on youtube and myspace.
38.You get piercings just because you can, not because you really want them
39.The use of a kaasschaaf is integral to everyday life.
40.In the perfect Dutchie world, everything should either be "Lekker" or "Gezellig"
41.Everyone you know shops at the H&M, and as soon as you buy a shirt from there you notice 20 other people at your school with the same one.
42. two words...earth apples.
43.You never go into the HEMA looking for anything, but you come out with 20 euros worth of useless shit.
44.You learned that the actually of number of people that can fit on a bike is not one, but in all actuality, you can fit as many 4 people on one bike.
45.Old dutch bikes are like the honda civics of america..everyone has one.
46.the random dutch peace/gangster sign in every single on of your photos.
47. It's ok to ride a bike without brakes.
48. If you need a bike quickly, dive into an Amsterdam canal and get one.
49. Only a Dutch person can explain the concept of being a 'kakker'.
50. In Holland, it's how 'long' you are, not how tall you are :)
51.In Holland, it is a criminal offense for a cyclist to stop at a red light :)
52. Only a Dutch person can eat a 'kroket' without flinching :)

Scrubbed Kitchen

I think everyone should really rush home and buy a giant box of chocolates for their maids.

MY BYCEPS IS SORE.

I BURNT MY ARM.

MY PJS SMELLS LIKE CLEANING SPRAY.

Or better yet, make it a box of chocolate plus flowers and a handmade thank-you card. Give them a hug while you still can.

First Exams, NOOOOOO!

OK this isnt going so well. I have 50 chapters for 1.5 months I mean, we had 23 chapters max for the entire year for highschool! Entire year! First exam is on Wed, and the last one is on Friday. You bet I'm not going home on Friday night. And Saturday.

Meanwhile exam preparation isnt going so well. I've been reading my ass off these past few days and it just wont stick! I hope some smart people would invent a post-it you can stick on ur brain. I would be the loyal customer till death do us part. Seriously, I have the memory of a goldfish. If someone offers me a sour candy I would take it the first time, groan cause its so sour, walk away to do some stuff, come back and take the candy just because I forgot its sour. Some call it stupidity but I'd rather blame my memory.

Yesterday I tried to do the last year's exams, and by the end of reading time the verdict was that I am skrewed, with a capital S. Holey moley I couldnt even do 1 question. So I spent yesterday going over the answers trying to get how they got that cause I bet my sorry ass thats the first time I saw those workings. Then I decided to bake myself some chocolate brownies (which turns out awesome, with capital AWESOME). When its done, I just sat there on the window panel staring into space while munching the WHOLE batch.

This is not even funny anymore. Cause its not even hash brownies, its pure chocolate. So theres really no additives there.

And I have cookie crumbs ALL OVER my apartment. I feel like cookie-loving Hansel or Gretel. My desk if covered with cookie crumbs. My room. My staircase. My living room. My TOILET.

Save me.

The cookie crumbs are coming to get me.

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD :)

Dearest Dad,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Cant believe this is your first birthday that I am not home. Nevertheless, I wish you the happiest merriest most incredible birthday and may this year be filled with incredulous bliss and good surprises.

We'll eat and celebrate when I get home OK :), but in the meantime, give yourself a warm big birthday hug from your youngest daughter.

Wish I am there,

Nik.

The Month After

It's been a month since I moved here. It's so weird. Time moves so quickly. Fall is starting and its so cold! It's been raining and windy. It's so weird. One minute its sunny, then its raining REALLY hard and then its sunny again.

Amusing.

Overall, I really like it here. I feel so balanced here, somehow. I stay home and be a nerd for most days (cause I'm anxious about the exams!!! Exam is in 2 weeks and I still dont know a n y t h i n g about Financial and Management Accounting), and always take a night out (usually Wednesday cause its student night and theres happy hour in this bar near our school ;) yeah I'm a cheapskate) to just chill and meet new people and be retards with the people you know.

Or compensate the amount of sugar intake by substituting tram ride home by walking. Although the perimeter of sugar overtake and working it out is always assymetrical ;)

Academic workload has been rough, but I kinda enjoy it. It's a fresh change from letting cobwebs and dust occupy my brain. It's amazing how we have to do everything ourselves here. Independence is inevitable, yet enjoyable. I wonder what my parents would say if they see how I do everything myself. Their spoilt girl is learning, one step at a time, eager for new lessons everyday.

People might think from the pictures that I posted on my FB that all I do is party. They couldnt be more wrong ;), since I dont post pictures of me behind the vaccuum cleaner or studying behind books. But I'm glad they take it that I am happy here. Cause I am.

I've stopped comparing my life with others, and decided to grasp every opportunity that comes in my way. Maybe thats why I'm so happy. Most people think that their lives revolves around great things, so they wait behind the steering wheel for great things to bump them. What they often miss is that great things are often disguised as small things. And that's perhaps what I learnt most here, that by the end of the day, the little things is what matters most.

Signs that you need to stop eating stroopwafels

Friend: "Dude the amount of stroopwafels decreased everyday."

--

Friend: "DENICA YOU ADDICT STOP EATING THOSE SUGAR!"

--

Friend: "Denica, you should be my Maths tutor, and then I'm gonna pay you with candies and stroopwafels and stroopcookies."

--

Friend on MSN: "Hey you're busy. Doing HW or just eating stroopwafels?"

--

Me: "Shit I ran out of stroopwafels!"
Friend: "Really? Arent you dead already?"

Weekend Away

Just went back from my study's start weekend, which is basically we (approx 40 people from my year and the committee) went to this lodge in the northest part of Holland for the weekend. I have to admit it was so much fun. The first day we had dinner, speedating and Vegas themed party. Saturday we went for this survivor/adventure game for the whole afternoon, it was downright exhausting. Walking in the forest, doing physically demanding obstacles, mountain biking and canoeing (spelling?). When we did finally went back to the lodge, we hung out on the field behind the house and enjoy the rare sun. It was heavenly.

Later that night we had mini-workshops for 20minutes each. We did capoeira, acting, salsa dancing, cocktail mixing and cake decorating (which I WON MUAHAHA). It was so much fun :) although its so short that we didnt really master in anything :p. Then we changed into our orange clothing for the Dirty Dutch party, with Dutch finger food and everything. It was so fun, we had so much fun dancing and making faces at each other at first. That is, until the DJ decided to stick with Electro music. Me and my friend decided to sit down and watch then. It was even better. A guy was walking with his shirt torn. Girls were WASTED. Guys were even more wasted. Most had lazy-drunk eyes. A guy was rubbing my friends' hairs, both male and female friends (hint: BI!!!).

At the end, we found ourselves laughing like idiots while eating our prize winning decorated cake (which actually isnt such a good idea considering that I didnt even wash my hands while decorating it).

Really late that evening (morning?), we went into the bunk to get changed. It was dark. I was climbing my bed when I smelt puke. My friend flashed her handphone to provide some light, and we saw a girl lying on her face. We tried to call for her, and she didnt respond. We resorted to poking her and shouting her name, and still no response. Shit we were beginning to get scared so we called the committee, and they tried to wake her up too by shouting and rocking her shoulders. Still no response. A committee even said that theres blood. Jesus. We just sat there scared to do anything. Finally we found some students from the neighbour lodge who happens to be medical students from another univ, and got them to check her up. They checked her heart beat, pupil and stuff. At the end she woke up, but they insisted to bring her to the hospital to make sure.

OK that was really interesting. Lots of new things happened this weekend. Which I guess is the point of living another day :)

Another crucial thing to remember: never ever ever ever resort yourself to live in the same bunk with guys. Jesus our bathroom smelt like puke and beer. I'm just now so glad to be back to civilization, with clean bathrooms and soft warm bed :)

Chile

Tonight the wine tastes strangely bitter. And it complements my heart.

FATTENING UP

I think I am on a sugar high. Hahahahahahaha doing all the reading and tons of homework over the weekend is taking its toll on me. And all the sugar intake these past few days too I guess. This is so funny. Everything is like double the funniness today.

I am procastinating. Cause I'm BEHIND with the homework and reading. Shit.

denica zegt:
ok cake im coming

denica zegt:
sorry guys cake is priority

Leigh zegt:
wtf u weirdo

Leigh zegt:
u are one huge food adict

denica zegt:
sssh!

[b]eyasu[/b] zegt:
'cake, i'm coming' EWWW SHE HAS A FOOD FETISH

[b]eyasu[/b] zegt:
nasty girl

denica zegt:
dont say that that loud

denica zegt:
its gonna hurt cake's feeling

denica zegt:
its got a tender heart

denica zegt:
like cream's

[b]eyasu[/b] zegt:
like whatever?

denica zegt:
u moron

Leigh zegt:
HAHA

denica zegt:
my god

[b]eyasu[/b] zegt:
shut the hell up and get fat you pig!

denica zegt:
the cream is taking its toll on me

denica zegt:
HAHAHAHAHAH

Leigh zegt:
LOOL duuuude

First Day of School ;-p

Well this has been the day that I've been waiting for quite a while (OK, pretty mych throughout my bum days). We didnt have to do anything much, just sit in between lectures given to explain pretty much everything we need to know about our study. Tomorrow, however, the brain is demanded. 9 AM, and case studies all day long.

Didnt get much sleep last night. No I wasnt too excited for my first day or anything. It's just last night it was raining quite bad, and the wind was really strong. I was sleeping soundly when all of the sudden my door creaked open slowly, wish a rush of cold wind, revealing a dark empty staircase. This happened 3 times, and my heart was pounding like a rabbit's.

At 2 PM, students are given the choice to leave or listen to the Prime Minister's words of welcome. We planned to come, so we went in and sat down at the first student's rows. We look around, there are flower bouquets everywhere, along with lots of cameras. Apparently its also live on the Dutch channels.

The formality of the room started choking us.

After some initial hesitation and a lot of laughter, me and two other guys decided to go get some lunch instead. The speech was also in Dutch. So yes, no loss there. We took the tram, and something really funny happened.

We were mocking each other, like we always do. And this friend was all about "Haha Denica is so retarded and stupid. Go home to China!"

And I was like, "Dude, I'm from Indonesia!"

"Yes but you're Chinese. Embrace that!"

He was teasing me, and I teased him for being Dutch. Although we both know what we're saying are NOT true. Chinese or Indonesian or Dutch are not stupid. Or retarded. We are though. We were laughing so hard some people in the tram started to laugh aswell. Probably at us.

Finally I said, "Hey can we go to the bank first? I need to ask some info about opening an account."

He said, "Pfft why do you want to go to the Dutch bank? Go to cing cong cung bank!"

OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

CING CONG CUNG BANK WTF HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The Tale of Two Feet

I have two feet. And since I moved to Holland, they're the ones who seems to suffer the hardest. I came to this country with a perfectly good pair of feet. It was smooth and adequate. Notice the past tense.

2 weeks, and it is now deformed.

At first, it was my brand new super cute leather Converse shoes. It bleeds my feet's back side. Both. Then I started to step on the back side, and everyone started to tease me. A group leader's friend during my orientation actually commented, "Hey I dont knw where you come from, but here in Holland we dont wear our shoes like that."

I looked at him and laughed. Then showed him my bleeding back feet and he started to smile. "Oh that explains a lot."

Apparently, besides the teasing, stepping on your shoes also has another negative effect: your feet's back sides start to hurt really bad.

So the next day, I opted for sandals instead. Bad decision. Especially because my sandals arent really orthopedic or anything. It hurts with every step I took. And the back straps started to cut deep into my existing scar from the shoes.

Then I decided to wear my sister's Birkenstock. It was great at first! But it didnt last. I dont know whether it was the fact that it was 2 sizes too big, or because the air is cold and dry, but the straps next to your toes started to cut deep into my flesh.

My toe's skin actually went off. Well, partially at least. I can actually see the red flesh. Holey shit trust me when I say it hurts. Both toes.

Thank god I bought this pair of Nike shoes yesterday. As I put it on this morning and went shopping for some room-ey stuff, I actually forgot about my deranged scarred feet. I forgot how it feels to be walking without having to cringe in pain from every step.

It felt really good.

But after 2 hours of walking, it started to whine again. Christ.

So here I am now. Resting my feet. And crossing my fingers, voodooing, wishing that they will be as good as new on Monday when school starts :(

First Days in Holland...

...is great! I love living here already. Sure, the compulsory chores (which is basically everything) can be mundane sometimes. But I kinda like it in a weird way. I'm beginning to gain more and more understanding about the crucial things such as shopping, public transportation and how to cook rice plus turning on the vacuum cleaner.

I'm currently living in my sister's room while she's still in Indonesia. Saw my future housemate and my new room yesterday. I love it so, cant wait to move there. The neighborhood's awesome. So very homey and different :)

Tomorrow's orientation. I'm both anxious and excited all at once. Let's hope for the best shall we :)

Havent called home yet. Dont know how to :( yes I am very much technologically challenged. Altho Dad did called once or twice yesterday. I miss Indonesia's milk. The milk here tastes like butter (the volle melk, gonna try half volle melk tomorrow). Plus the cereal sucks. I miss my loyal Koko Krunch. I miss my maids. I miss having mom and pop on the floor below.

I miss hanging out in my sister's room playing cards and losing money from the lost bets.

My brother and sister suck. But I miss not having them around to bully and be bullied.

I hope all is good with you people at home.

Days to Departure

Just spent my last weekend home. I still cant believe that I'm leaving on Thursday. I've spent the last 6 months pestering. The idea of me leaving seemed a lifetime away. Even now, 4 days before I embark on that plane, everything feels surreal.

My To-Do-Post-It-s on the bathroom door is falling down one by one as the days went by. Now there are only 4 left. Last night after I pulled down one, I stared blankly at them. Scribbles stared back at me. Each word led my eyes to the last Post-It, labeled Thursday, Aug 14th.

I inhaled deeply, exhaled. I dont know what to say. I dont know what should I say.

Happy? Not as happy as I would picture me to be.

Excited? Some of the time.

Anxious? More often.

Sad?

Sad.

Yes, sad.

Leaving my family and home turned out to be harder than I thought. The thought that I wont be here next Sunday crushes me. The mundane petty responsibilities passed down by my mom that I once dreaded now becomes something I live by everyday. The thought that she would have to carry these responsibilities when I'm gone crushes me. As if she has spare time already.

The keys shes gonna have to keep. The records. Now she even will have to learn how to open her safe deposit box.

My parents are the busy type. Theyre mostly out during the day. But I always respect the fact that they always try to be home on weekends to take us out.

After my older sisters and brother left for their respective studies abroad, it had been only the 4 of us in this house for quite some time. Now with me gone, the image of my little brother watching TV alone in the darkness everyday squeezes my stomach. Growing up, maybe he's the toughest of us all, he's been familiar with his siblings here today and gone tomorrow from time to time.

I'm gonna miss you, brother.

--



There are things in this life that we may not be that eager to do, but must in order to grow up.

This is one of them.

And on Thursday 4 days from today, I'll be doing just that.

Brother's Boys Night In

Last night my little brother was having a BOYS NIGHT IN! Yes, MY LITTLE BROTHER. To get the most out of mom and dad's trip away, he invited some of his mates for a sleepover, and played football games on the PS3 in the living room (infront of MY room) till dawn (cue the NOISES AND CHANTING AND SCREAMING).

And what did I do? Locked in my room, cross stitching while listening to Coldplay repeatedly. You wont believe it, but I was under ROOM ARREST. My brother didnt let me out out of fear I'm gonna ruin his boys night in.

After 5 hrs, I almost went out of my mind. So I sneaked out to use the laptop to go online and amuse myself. When he saw me, I quickly mimmicked a crazy face and say: "IM GOING BALOONEY FROM STAYING INSIDE TOO LONG! I NEED THIS GOD DAMMIT!" yeah I was pretty desperate.

Then instead of feeling sorry for causing this distress, he looked at me in distaste and say: "Just make it quick. We need the laptop."

I KNOW, PEOPLE. I KNOW.

On top of that, he ate my PRECIOUS HELLO PANDA. AND borrowed money for McDonald's delivery.

I've been locked in, stolen from and extorted.

When I walked back to my room, his McD came. So I pranced to him and asked what did he bought me. He said, take whatever you want. Smiling, I stole some of his fried chicken's skin. When I put it back, he pushed me aside and whispered: "We're having a boys night in here. So if you dont mind going to bed like any other good girl." while pushing me slowly back to my room.

He shoved me in, and very joyfully said "OK THEN HAPPY CROSS STITCHING!" complete with a really wide grin, then closed the door in my face.

I look at my brother, and all I can imagine is him being a pinata.

Consider it an early parting gift brother.

14 Days

My plane tickets arrived today. August 14th, written under the 'Date of Departure'.

Exactly 14 days from now.

2 Thursdays, 2 Fridays, 2 Saturdays, 2 Sundays, 2 Mondays, 2 Tuesdays and 2 Wednesdays.

My Fix

Back from Bali

Went to Bali with a couple of friends for the weekend. Gloriously relaxing, refreshing and energizing. Though the 4days, 3nights vaca kinda made me realize how much I need to go back to school. My brain is loading like the slow and retarded internet connection in Indonesia.

Overall I'm kind of glad to be home again. At least I wont have to see this bastard, whore-loving, bullshit-filled, thief and creep friend of mine. In case you got the chance to read this: I have no wonder why all your best friends turned their backs on you. As my rage diffused slowly, pity swells. The poor son of a bitch has got noone now.

If you claim yourself to be that smart, go figure why everyone close their ears when you open your mouth.

You managed to almost ruin my well deserved vacation. I congratulate you for that. I pity you.

Putting on a fake smile to reasure oneself isnt that healthy

When everything seems all ucertain. And your heart is filled with anxieties. You thought everything will be alright. Everything will work out eventually. You try to live as if nothing's wrong. But never once can you sweep the anxieties from the corner of your heart.

Then came another email.

And everything turned from uncertain to just wrong. Right now what you would want to do is go to your room, lock the door, snuggle yourself in the warm blanket, stare at the empty walls and play mellow music all night long.

All you want to do is allow yourself to breakdown. But another part is telling you not to. To stay headstrong.

The worst part of it is not knowing who to tell.

I want to keep myself together. Amidst all these. To inhale deeply. And exhale.

I guess the only thing I can do now is shove them all under the carpet and put on a smile and try to live my life. One uncertainty after another.

Oh God.

Coming Clean

Hello. My name is Denica. I am a Hello Panda Choco Chip Milk Biskuit-addict. I am also a recent milk addict. I eat a box of Hello Panda Biskuits with a glass of plain white milk every night before going to bed.

Silently munching the panda-head-shaped milk biscuits infront of the refrigerator. You see at your own reflection and you realize this is kind of a low point in your life.

Sip the milk.

Let the milk you sipped swirl and twirl in your mouth with the biscuit crumbles. And all those 24hrs you spent before that second was worth the wait.

Reading the above paragraph kinda freaks me out. Im munching my way up to lovehandles.


--


My name is Denica. And I am a proud Hello Panda Choc Chip Milk Biscuit and milk-addict.

RICHARD IS THE GREATEST GUY ON THE PLANET

RICHARD IS THE GREATEST GUY ON THE PLANET!

Setting The Record Straight

First of all, I do not live like a cow. I admit that I sleep in the morning and wake up in the afternoon. But I have a really good explanation for it: Euro Cup. When ure watching the game to 4 AM in the morning, surely noone expects you to wake up like other early birds?

So nights post-Euro Cup, my sleep clock has adapted to the nights prior, leaving me fresh and awake until after 2 AM-ish.

To make my point even stronger, cows do not sleep in the morning. They sleep at night, and wake up at dawn to be milked by diligent farmers slash milkers. Hence, it can be concluded that I am very much not living a cow's life.

Secondly, I have tried to learn how to cook. I made beef capsicum the other night, and eventho it tastes kinda plain, its still very much edible. So dont let me hear any complain in that department! But I do realize where people are coming from, telling me to learn to cook asap. And yes, I am gonna cook more to prepare for my departure.

I'll start tonight!

So here it is, straight from the source: Denica does not live like a cow, and she is learning how to cook. And no, she wont be eating instant noodles all the time in Holland. She'll eat them occassionally.

I feel much better now.

Postcard from Them

3 postcards came from my brother, sister and parents who are now travelling all around Europe. Funny thing is that they all came from Barcelona I think. Here's what my brother wrote:

"Ca (my sister), dont go out too much. Im here on vacation, eating good stuff; gelato ice cream from every flavors. Bottom line is im having the time of my life. You eat cheap stuff in Indo k, dont eat expensive food, save money. Tell nik (MOI) to stop living like a cow and learn to cook. Or she's gonna eat instant noodles all the time in Holland. Be good guards there. Dont go out too much."

And below it there's his name "Evan" and his stupid signature.

Unbelievable.

I guess I am cursed

Bloody hell. 1-0 for Spain. There goes my ticket to redeem my name as a good luck charm. Poor Germany, Ballack's eye and Klose's crotch.

Spain's win to Germany was pretty good tho, considering Spain being such an eyecandy team.

Lalala.

Still.

I'm back to being the bad luck.

--

It's amusing how I manage to lost track of date nowdays. I guess sleeping super late and waking up ultra late has finally taken its toll on me. Today, Im living of 4 slices of Meat Lover pizza.

Something tells me Im far away from being healthy these days.

Hey you.

Dont feel that lonely, cause ure not lonely, girl. Heck, ure never lonely.

And u knw whos hurting to see u like this? Your friends. Cheer up. I knw that ur problems may seem impossible and simply too much, but things will work out. Things will work out.

You dont admit defeat when the war is raging. U face em, head on. And make them wonder how u can still hold ur head up high and smile.

You'll see.

Youre way stronger than give urself credit for.

Good luck.

Yearbook Committee!

I miss jooh all!

LA FURIA ROJA!

Go go go go Spain!

As I waited eagerly for the game, flipping through the channels to kill some time before the game starts, suddenly a strange image come to me. I imagine this man watching TV in the middle of the night, beer belly showing off, bottles of beer on the floor while drinking a beer straight out from the bottle while still fixating on the TV screen.

Thats exactly what Im doing, come to think of it.

Except I dont have beer belly, and Im holding and drinking plain milk straight from the carton.

If only my parents were here. Only then they would see their daughter now. Truly and blissfully a bum.

---



I cant believe I bet my honour as someone thats not cursed on Germany being the Euro Champion.

Well now.

GERMANYYYYYYY!!!

Oh no she didnt...

...but she did! I cant believe my sister showed my parents my FS pictures. Shit. Theres a picture of me eating a banana acting like a monkey! And all those UAN pictures... With the cone party hats and clownish attitude! OMG! As of this point, I expect my parents to refer to me as 'that retarded daughter' instead of 'that precious intelligent honest hardworking daughter'.

NOOO.

My long built reputation is ruined!

Anyways miss you mom, dad. And u too little bratty brother. This house aint the same without u guys.

Maybe I am a bad luck charm

Spain vs Italy. Bet on Italy. Another lost. This is unbelievable. Could it be for real? That every team I cheer for is doomed? Maybe I should stop cheering and everyone'll be a winner.

Yes, John, jog more. 7.5 set meal to be redeemed.

It cant be happening. The NL didnt just lost. This is a dream.

This isnt happening. Did the NL just lost in the quarterfinal? Oh my God. I spent all night plus morning watching the game, and shit how dissapointed it left me! I watched it with some friends, and the 3 of us bet for Holland. Altho Nilsterooy's goal was totally the highlight of the night. We were so ecstatic that we jumped like preschool kids and threw high 5s while shouting.

The euphoria didnt last that long.

It's weird that every team that I cheer for has gone home. This is weird. My friend accused me of being a bad luck to the teams!

Anyways I o John a 5 course meal I suppose.

Kungfu and Vitamin C

JACK BLACK IS A GENIOUS.

No more should be said.

Altho my afternoon was filled with laughter, my evening is kinda filled with a series of unfortunate events. It all started with Burning Cheeks. Out of the blue, my cheeks grew warm and they turned red! Like red apple-red! Freaked out, I took a cold bath, and quickly turned on the aircon, assuming that my sudden redness was due to the heat.

Minutes passed, I cross stitched on my bed peacefully. Hours passed and my body became warmer and warmer. Decided to go down to get some paracetamol. Turns out we have none. Decided to have some vitamin C. Nothing.

Out of hope, I checked all the tablets for anything with vitamin C in it. None. But hey whats that? Inside those vit C ad papers? A VITAMIN C! A FREE SAMPLE CHEWABLE VITAMIN C CANDY!

Seriously, how lucky was I?

Smiling, I gobbled a tablet and went to the rubbish can to throw the ad papers. Casually I glanced at the writings. Scanning, scanning, scientific words, percentages, scanning scanning.

No clue what it meant.

But then those words caught me off guard and nearly choked me to death. It turns out that the vitamin candy in my mouth has EXPIRED 4 MONTHS AGO.

Seriously, how lucky was I?

Silently I cursed, and spit the candy frantically. My emotions might be that similar with Matthew McGonaghey's when he saw Andy's feminine things in his bathroom closet in How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days.

I then almost killed myself in the road. Turns out there's a strong correlation between my warm body temperature and my vision. And there I was, rushing home hoping to catch Austria-German on time. Arrived on 9:22 PM. And I dont think I need to even tell what happened to my hope.

The game doesnt start until 10:30 PM.

...

If only I can channel all these into kungfu. I might just be the new Dragon Warrior.

A Letter to Future Hobbit

[9:39:02 PM] denica riadini says: my pretty pretty feet

[9:41:16 PM] Michelle Santoso says: eeewww
[9:41:21 PM] Michelle Santoso says: long toes
[9:41:29 PM] Michelle Santoso says: frodo feet

[9:41:39 PM] denica riadini says: what????????????
[9:41:41 PM] denica riadini says: me??????????????????
[9:41:49 PM] denica riadini says: i have the fairy's feet!!!!
[9:41:57 PM] denica riadini says: URE THE HOBBIT FEET
[9:42:06 PM] denica riadini says: short stubby and HAIRY
[9:42:07 PM] denica riadini says: HA!

[9:43:09 PM] Michelle Santoso says: whats the opposite of hobbits?
[9:43:17 PM] Michelle Santoso says: gandalf!!!'

[9:43:19 PM] denica riadini says: pretty fairies
[9:43:21 PM] denica riadini says: OMG
[9:43:22 PM] denica riadini says: HAHAHAHAHAHA

[9:43:23 PM] Michelle Santoso says: u have gandalf feet

[9:43:26 PM] denica riadini says: GANDAL;F???????????????
[9:43:35 PM] denica riadini says: SHIT
[9:43:37 PM] denica riadini says: HAHAHAHAHAHA
[9:43:43 PM] denica riadini says: IM GONNA THROW U OFF INTO THE MOUNTAINS

[9:45:31 PM] Michelle Santoso says: hahah with ur big stick and ur long beard?
[9:45:34 PM] Michelle Santoso says: oouuuu im so scareeedddd

[9:46:01 PM] denica riadini says: yes im gonna tie you up with my long white clean fresh beard

[9:46:19 PM] Michelle Santoso says: yeah ur gona have to wash that off

[9:46:28 PM] denica riadini says: then push u into the hot lava with my big stick

[9:46:32 PM] Michelle Santoso says: ur wearing white and ill smear it with my troll feet covered in dirt
[9:46:39 PM] Michelle Santoso says: ur going to have to .... dry clean it!
[9:46:39 PM] Michelle Santoso says: gasp

[9:47:13 PM] denica riadini says: yes but before i push u aboard, im gonna take all the money left in ur dirt-covered trouser
[9:47:18 PM] denica riadini says: so ure gonna be paying for it
[9:47:29 PM] denica riadini says: whos the loser now, hobbitch?

[9:47:33 PM] Michelle Santoso says: i dont keep money in my trousers
[9:47:33 PM] Michelle Santoso says: hah!

[9:47:47 PM] denica riadini says: says who?
[9:47:48 PM] denica riadini says: hah!

[9:47:51 PM] Michelle Santoso says: uhh.. clearly u
[9:47:53 PM] Michelle Santoso says: hahaha

[9:48:01 PM] denica riadini says: ok then im gonna molest u!!!
[9:48:20 PM] denica riadini says: right before the eyes of the mountain
[9:48:26 PM] denica riadini says: and i'll find ur money, god dammit
[9:48:28 PM] denica riadini says: i'll find it
[9:48:42 PM] denica riadini says: ure gonna pay for my laundry!!!!

[9:53:31 PM] Michelle Santoso says: hahahahah
[9:53:36 PM] Michelle Santoso says: ur such a weirdo gandalf

[9:54:11 PM] denica riadini says: its really astonishing how u portray me as gandalf
[9:54:16 PM] denica riadini says: seeing URE THE OLD ONE
[9:54:19 PM] denica riadini says: HAHAHAHAHAHA


---


My dearest Hobbit,

At first, I copied the conversation above with a sole mision in mind: to inform the world via the internet of how weird you are. And after I read and re-read it, I now realize how much I miss you since you've been gone. Some time have passed since we last saw each other and oh how I miss having you and your hairy feet around.

When you read this (which is after I finished writing this, U BET IM GONNA NUDGE YOU HAHA), it wont be soon before long until we are reunited. And I cant tell you how I look forward to it as I type this.

Theres just something I want to set straight for now: YOU ARE NOT FAT. You may be puny and hairy, yes, but fat youre not. So be happy, precious, and indulge. Indulge because youre still young and alive.

Although you are 2 years older than me. OLD. OLD HOBBIT. OLD PUNY HAIRY HOBBIT HAHAHAA.

Gosh remember during the HSCs, we would sit and fuss over the exams while eating like truck drivers (well, maybe you and your kratingdaeng to be exact). And when I finished and you still have Chinese exam and I would laugh in your face because YOU STILL HAVE CHINESE AND I HAVE NO MORE EXAM HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Or the time when you called and I was eating apples, and we were laughing like 2 loonies saying things like "I think my maid doped my apples". Or your stupidity while performing your hobbit-Gollum-like impersonation in the bus, caressing your precious IMAGINARY BREADCRUMBS that I threw at you. HAHAHAHA. You should see your face!!!!

And yes maybe later, years from now I'll finally get over that and stop making fun of you. And by that time, maybe we'll be laughing our asses off reading the above excerp like 2 loony grandmas.

A precious excerp from our long-gone youth.

It would be years from now. When our hairs are silver and white like Gandalf's, and you'll be using a fake teeth because YOURE 2 YRS OLDER THAN ME HAHAHAHAHA. And all I can imagine is me throwing imaginary breadcrumbs at you, and you scooped them in your palms while doing the crazy-eyes, shouting "MY PRECIOUS!!"

Love,

Gandalf

Breakthrough Discovery

After thorough evaluations, I think its safe to say that I've metamorphed from a dilligent and hardworking earnest school girl to a BUM.

I AM A BUM.

BUM.

A BUM.

Bum bum parap parapapaaaap. Teot teotttt!

They're Coming Back!!!

Gerry made a Facebook group for our year. He posted a lot of candid pictures of us during highschool. Photos that we thought we'll never see again. Photos that evokes so much longing to be there once again.

It's shocking yet fascinating to see how many of us posted comments of how we missed highschool. It's everywhere.

June is here. In 2 weeks time people are starting to return to Indo for their respective holidays. Imagine how smiley I can be. Its so fun to talk and make plans on MSN :p

Gyms, Black Cat, Clubs, Starbucks, My house, Your house, Bandung, even Bali.

mroesli says:
DENICA BLOM PERNAH MKAN MIE BLOON?

denica says:
super gay

denica says:
apa tuh mie bloon

denica says:
gak mau ntar gw jd bloon

mroesli says:
the smartest mie in jkt

Or our retarded plans:

mroesli says:
what are the planss ?

denica says:
the plans is...

denica says:
SH IS SLEEPING OVER IN MY HOUSE

homeland tears and global fears says:
i need to take a shit again



Yippie I love the holidays <3

I think the Boredom Bugs are conspiring to eat me up slowly.

American Idol 08

OMG DAVID CO OK IS THE AMERICAN IDOL.

This is the first season I've watched and its great! Altho I love both Davids, was very surprised when Sea crest announced Co ok as the winner!

The other eye candy was of course Mich ael J ohn. Its too bad he got eliminated so quickly :(

OMG I CANT BELIEVE CO OK IS THE NEW AMERICAL IDOL. I thought Arch uletta's win was a seal deal.

DAVID CO OK IS THE AMERICAL IDOL!

Where is My White Cloud?

Just got back from Singapore. Physically exhausted. Extremely sleepy. Just realized that today is actually only the 24th, not the 27th.

Singapore was busy. So many people. People constantly on the run. It's so easy to get lost. Both literally and methaphorically. For some reason I dont find it as appealing as before, when I thought it was the ultimate best city in the whole wide world.

On the flight home, I noticed how grey the sky was. The clouds are so... Grey. We flew ride through it, and I was fascinated by the actual structure of the cloud itself. I always secretly imagine it as being this puffy soft pillowy structure that would hold, and bounce me when I fall into one.

But no, apparently it's just like... Nothing.

And the fact that it was so grey made me feel so dirty. Clouds arent supposed to be grey, they're supposed to be bleach white and clean and dreamy. It just feels so awfully wrong.

If someone asks you to stop driving to make them white again, will you do it? I think I would. If only I were living in a different city when it's possible to walk and not die from the pollution and dirt and heat.

Ways to Brighten Your Day

denica says:
ban, lo jd cibin

Gar.. says:
hahaha

Gar.. says:
Xp

denica says:
gw jd bule

denica says:
ayo

denica says:
mulai2!!!!

denica says:
hello

Gar.. says:
(monkey emoticons) <--- denika

Gar.. says:
ahahaha

Gar.. says:
Xp

[c=10]Eveline[/c] says:
mm

denica says:
whats ur name?

[c=10]Eveline[/c] says:
qqkwkwkwkwkwkw

Gar.. says:
ketek

Gar.. says:
hahaha

Gar.. says:
my name is cibin

[c=10]Eveline[/c] says:
cece

[c=10]Eveline[/c] says:
wkwk

Gar.. says:
i'm hot

Gar.. says:
and sexy

Gar.. says:
auwh auwh

denica says:
yeah

denica says:
i can see

Gar.. says:
how much do u want to pay?

denica says:
are u a lady

denica says:
or a male?

denica says:
why are u bald?

Gar.. says:
5000 up and down lah

Gar.. says:
a

denica says:
and why is ur stomach so round?

Gar.. says:
wkwk

denica says:
but you HAVE BOOBS

Gar.. says:
owh

Gar.. says:
that's talent

Gar.. says:
lol

Gar.. says:
He gave me

Gar.. says:
aduh

Gar.. says:
inggris gw

Gar.. says:
cacad

[c=10]Eveline[/c] says:
wow

Gar.. says:
wkwkw

[c=10]Eveline[/c] says:
wjkwkw

[c=10]Eveline[/c] says:
jijik gw

denica says:
hahahahahhaa

Gar.. says:
wkwkw

denica says:
GILA GW MAU MATI KETAWA

Gar.. says:
wkwkw

:(

To you,

Im so sorry, darling. It broke my heart when I heard her story. But what you should know, is that it isnt entirely your fault. Dont blame yourself too much. You knw you're a great person.

It's not your fault, dear.

Sometimes things happen because they need to.

Maybe only then can we learn from it.

To value what we have now, before it's too late.

**I'm so sorry, nevertheless. Know that when you need someone to talk to via IM, all u need to do is nudge.

10 Years Later

It has been 10 yrs now from the Chinese massacre in May 1998. Precisely 10 yrs. May 13th, 1998.

Last night, we were hanging out in my sister's room when she brought this up. She took the time, while applying her night cream, to share how her current boyfriend surpassed death only by sheer luck.

He was only 14 at the time. His family lived amongside the Indonesians in the community. They formed quite a good relationship, good neighbours you can say. On the eve of May 13th 1998, everything turned upside down. The mob took over his house, luckily they had the time to smuggle the mom to one of the neighbor's house. It wasnt safe for women that days. They promised to leave them, the father and 3 boys, untouched, if only they would surrender everything they own.

He saw the crowd stripped his family from everything that they own, unable to do anything. Anything at all.

Luckily his father was quick, he told my sister's boyfriend and his older brother to quickly save some of their precious bonds and bank books by fleeing from the house. On their way, they were caught in the middle of an angry mob. Everyone was carrying wooden sticks and torches, he saw face to face the murderous faces with no mercy, chanting "Chinese! Chinese!".

They didnt know what to do.

As the mob grew closer, death was certain to them. It was so impeccably surprising that all of the sudden, police came in between and pushed the crowd. If they had not, or even came late by minutes, I wouldnt hear this story now.

--

My recounts of that night was limited. I was only 8 then. Too little to even understand what was happening. All I remember is that we were put together in one room by our servant, and my dad was on the phone talking to my oldest sister. Or my servant. I dont know.

My parents were in Singapore that night, my dad was having his tumor removed. It was then hen he heard that the crowd has reached the mouth of our block, and called to make sure we were alright. He then made arrangements, and we were fetched that night to spend a couple of days at his friend's house until things cooled down.

We were lucky enough to survive it.

My sister then told me what our old driver told her 10 years before this night. Things were bad, really bad. Old Chinese people were forced to take off the clothes, then ordered to run around naked like dogs. Some of them were killed, others burned to their last breath.

Our driver saw that in morgues, Chinese corpses werent stored, they were hanged. They were hanged upside down. Some of them were still alive when they were hanged and burnt to death.

Until this day, my sister's boyfriend is a racist.


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Let us remember today what evil we are capable of. And hope that it will never, ever happen again in this lifetime.

Lets Talk

I think we all should talk to the people that we seldom talk to more often.

Quite recently, I had the opportunity to talk to some people that I rarely talk to before. From when we were almost strangers until they became people that I couldnt spend the day without talking to.

You know who you are.

Im glad our paths crossed.

ACCEPTED

AFTER 6 MONTHS. IM SOOO ACCEPTED. YEAH BABY!


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After much consideration, I think Im departing on the 3rd week of August. That is, if everything goes as planned.

:)

PROM PICTURES!

...some of it, anyway. The others are too humiliating to post :p

2 Months

I am writing this on Friday, May 9th at 01:19 AM in the morning. I am staring at myself in the mirror. My pig mug in hand. The bitter taste of my peppermint cough syrup lingers in my throat.

I never liked medicine. Especially bitter ones. The only thing pulling my hand to stuck them in my mouth is the knowledge, or blind hope, that they'll make me feel better.

I have been down with fever for the last 2 days. I loathe sicknes. I dont like the contempt I felt for taking my health for granted. Im left only with sore throat for now anyway. Yet I cant help to ponder how lucky I will be if my throat can be healthy again. And when it finally does, I'll forget to acknowledge it, again, until my next downfall.

I have been unemployed for 6 months now. Fussing, stressing myself over my univ applications. 6 more, and I'll be joining the long term unemployment figures. I've been admitted to 1 of the 2 univs I applied. So 2 months is all I got here.

2 months.

It gets me thinking. These past 6 months. Have I been squeezing all the juice that I could possibly squeeze? Have I done what I should have? Have I dont the things that I was given 6 months to accomplish?

Or have I been taking it for granted, like always?

I've lost track of time.

I've lost track of the significant things I've done. Or lack thereof.

I've been forever complaining for having to wait so long to leave. It seems like all my friends have gone abroad to respective colleges and univs. They've all seemed to move on to a whole new chapter. It kills me when I think that Im stuck here, when they're out there living.

I wished for tomorrow to come sooner, because only then the next day would come.


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Be careful of what you wished for.

2 months.

That's all I've got.

Will I take it for granted?

Eveline Gone Wild

The sweet, sweet taste of revenge <3