I realized I’ve been in Holland for 6 months-ish now, and never once I formally compare the lifestyle change from Indonesia. Figure never a better time than now. So here goes: I like my life here in Holland. I can’t really compare it, they’re all too different. Here, I feel free. They don’t judge you as much. They look at you for who you are, and they take that as given. Back home, I feel sometimes they look through you, veiled by what you have and what they don’t like about you.
As I went to a rather materialistic, Christian highschool, I think they consider me as a slut. I have to say it, I like partying. I love going out with my friends, dancing all night long and making a fool of yourselves, occasionally with booze. OK, more than occasionally. But what the heck. Life’s too short to do things you don’t love. And that’s exactly what I feel now, happy. I can do whatever makes me happy, not what makes them happy.
Seriously, though, I’m like a Virgin Mary here.
Conversely, I like learning. I love knowing new stuff, either academically or personally. I used to think that education is limited solely from books. I have never been so wrong. And I am never been as grateful for being able to learn new things everyday now. Little things, those little wonders that enlighten you in ways you can never imagine.
The people here are great. It’s so diverse, it’s beyond interesting. It is amusing. Sometimes I find strangers, or in translation people I don’t hang out that often, to be the ones that you can talk to better. I recently met this person (ok, guy, but not in that way). I have never been formally introduced to him, nor did we exchange names or details. But when I talk to him, it feels like I’ve known him forever. It’s weird. Intriguing.
I also love how challenged I feel now. I mean, my course is so bloody intensive. We finished 1 book for a whole year in highschool. We are demanded to know the inside out of 2 thick books every 2 months. That’s bloody 10 (with 2 months Summer break) in a year. Kinda makes you shiver, the thought of shoving all those things into your brain. Makes you wonder if it’ll do any permanent damage or something.
Like I said, I love learning. But I also adore balance. I like my life to be in balance; I party, I study. I save now, I consume later. I flirt, I have TV dinner alone. I exercise, I eat. At times, most of the times, they don’t really balance. The task is then to somehow make them balance.
And so far I admit I haven’t find the right motivation to balance them (like externalities, the negative is oversupplied relative to the positive).
And eventhough I have no complaints on my life now, I miss being home. I miss the other life. I miss the convenience, the security, the ease. I miss the knowledge and feeling of being home. Just home.
I guess everything has their own pros and cons. And I can’t, not now not later in the future, decide precisely which I prefer. It might sound selfish, but I want both. I enjoy the pros of both too much.
So there you have it, in conclusion, it’s a tie. Having said that, I don’t think you can feel about other countries the way you feel towards your hometown. Yet it’s enriching to experience the diversities others have to offer.
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