We had been friends since the 10th grade, and called ourselves PPGs for short, a name that has been translated into a lot of different acronyms eversince. Its easy to say that we are friends, that for this 3 years everyone knows that we are friends, that we play together, and that we are a group. Yet the 6 of us knew that we are plain play-mate, not friends. This, everyone dont know. They said that we looked solid rock, they were just seeing us from the pictures.
Which is OK, I guess. Its just.. We share only to another person, or mostly only 2 of the bunch would know, them who we call the closest. Perhaps the main problem is that we talk too much. We talk and yet never made it true. We promised to go here, there, here, there, do this, that, this and that. Yet none of the here, there, that and this ever came true. The reason? We're too busy with our individual lives.
As we approaches our final months together before we graduate, things have resurfaced into our minds. Why cant we be as solid as we look in the pictures? Everyone has this thought, some talked about it, but yet again, noone made it real. Its as if everyone is waiting for someone to make their first move, yet noone make their first move.
Its like we're waiting for nothing.
Furthermore I have a slight, no, cross that, major problem with 1 of the girls and havent been talking to her for like 3 months or so. The others know about it only recently, and have been asking questions to me. All I can say that she is a 'lying backstabbing bitch'. Every occassion they've been trying to talk me into making up with her. And always I said 'later'.
Today after school, as we wait for the afterschool's fundraising bazaar, we sat around in our new posh library and talked about things. We gave our opinions, I confronted my friend (whom I didnt speak to for 3 months), and we sat in silent. It was rather emotionally challenging, we talking of our problem thats there but never talked about, my eyes were hot when I presented my arguments with anger.
Alas, our (me and this friend) debate doesnt seem to reach a resolution. I still do feel mad at her, even until now. I told them that I cannot just let this go and make peace. Hell no.
Then another friend cried. She said that shes been very sad because we're not speaking to each other, because she cared for us regardless of how we dont seem to care for her. But she was wrong. We do care for her, well, at least I do. Seeing her cry just because of our stupid argument was heartbreaking. Everybody went silent, and she continued speaking of how she feels about this our cold war.
"I dont care even if you dont care for me, but I do care for you alot. And thats all what matters."
I told her that I will try. I will try, thats all Im promising. This is all too confusing, teenage problems are all too confusing. I am confused. But I will try.
Which is OK, I guess. Its just.. We share only to another person, or mostly only 2 of the bunch would know, them who we call the closest. Perhaps the main problem is that we talk too much. We talk and yet never made it true. We promised to go here, there, here, there, do this, that, this and that. Yet none of the here, there, that and this ever came true. The reason? We're too busy with our individual lives.
As we approaches our final months together before we graduate, things have resurfaced into our minds. Why cant we be as solid as we look in the pictures? Everyone has this thought, some talked about it, but yet again, noone made it real. Its as if everyone is waiting for someone to make their first move, yet noone make their first move.
Its like we're waiting for nothing.
Furthermore I have a slight, no, cross that, major problem with 1 of the girls and havent been talking to her for like 3 months or so. The others know about it only recently, and have been asking questions to me. All I can say that she is a 'lying backstabbing bitch'. Every occassion they've been trying to talk me into making up with her. And always I said 'later'.
Today after school, as we wait for the afterschool's fundraising bazaar, we sat around in our new posh library and talked about things. We gave our opinions, I confronted my friend (whom I didnt speak to for 3 months), and we sat in silent. It was rather emotionally challenging, we talking of our problem thats there but never talked about, my eyes were hot when I presented my arguments with anger.
Alas, our (me and this friend) debate doesnt seem to reach a resolution. I still do feel mad at her, even until now. I told them that I cannot just let this go and make peace. Hell no.
Then another friend cried. She said that shes been very sad because we're not speaking to each other, because she cared for us regardless of how we dont seem to care for her. But she was wrong. We do care for her, well, at least I do. Seeing her cry just because of our stupid argument was heartbreaking. Everybody went silent, and she continued speaking of how she feels about this our cold war.
"I dont care even if you dont care for me, but I do care for you alot. And thats all what matters."
I told her that I will try. I will try, thats all Im promising. This is all too confusing, teenage problems are all too confusing. I am confused. But I will try.
1 comments:
thats how u learn life, understand it and take value in genuine precious thing
Post a Comment