Words in tragedies

I sometimes wonder to what extent do the words from the people who, despite their honest inclination to console and help, have never experienced hardship can actually mean to those experiencing hardship.

Over the years, tragedies just simply happen; it varies in the level of intensity, yet it struck in moments when one least expect it without discrimination. Bad things happen to good people, bad things happen to bad people, bad things just happen. After such a profound change, naturally humans go into a state of a trauma. Everything seems to slow down, you began to ask why the world keeps on moving like nothing has changed where everything has changed for you. Slowly, grief grips and your door closes. Suddenly the world seems to have less meaning and is less fair.

I have yet to experience this, and honestly it both relieves and scares me of what’s coming. Somehow I believe that life is like a wheel, sometimes it goes up and you can see the sky flourishing with soft colors in the morning, before it moves and you find yourself in the mud. However, a direct implication of this is that I sometimes do not know what to say or what to do towards people who have recently experienced a tragedy.

I want to help, I wish to console yet I found my words empty. I wonder whether those you seek help from, like doctors or psychologists, or those who help you overcome this and be your true potential, like life coaches, ever experienced what their clients are experiencing. If not, I wonder what they would say, what they would look as, how they would say that the wheel will move up again sooner or later.

Somehow, it seems to me that perhaps the best approach one can show in such a situation is to simply be there; a call away or an email away due to (sometimes) geographical hurdles, but always there.

Friend, if you are reading this I am sorry I cannot be there to take you for coffee and just be silent. I am sorry you have to go through this alone. I am sorry it happened to you. Yet I know you, and I know that once you had your time you will walk out that door and learn from this. Hard as it may sound to hear, all humans have in them the natural power to survive and give their lives an empowering story. You will learn from it and you will be stronger from it.