The Sides

Stella wrote:

"sometimes these two dominant sides of myself really kill me. i think that they might destroy every brain cells my body've managed to produce each day."

"one is the sanguinic side. she believes that as long as she does everything that makes everyone happy, eventually she will be happy too."

"the good thing about her is that, she is strong and she will stay strong until she finds the happiness of her own."

"one is the melancholic side, beside constantly cursing what the sanguinic side is doing. she had also finished the list of ifs and thens. if good things come to her, the then will not stay good. if bad things come to her, the then will be worse. she believes that i am a doormat and she blames me for trapping her inside."

"the only good thing about her is that she believes that this life is only a temporary phase we have to go through and she had her own guide book of how to end it."

I think I have the same syndrome, the two sides thats making me a) positive and motivated, and b) negative and annoyed. The a) is the simple one that's always whispers motivational phrases to keep me going another day. This side always made me feel much better, see the world as a brighter and warmer place, and always tried to cheer up in hope that it'll scrub on to others.

This side made me dream like theres no tomorrow. Or wish that tomorrow would come because it has so many open doors and opportunities to be taken.

This one always made me feel like I can do whatever I want to.

And the other one, the b), is a plain bitch. She detests lots of things. She gets super annoyed when things doesnt go her way. She is annoying. Selfish. Inconsiderate.

And b)made me feel like crap. And my world becomes dark and sad and pitiful that I couldnt bear to do anything but listen to somber musics and be on my own.

Having said that, I dont really know whether I suffer from multiple personalities, a schizophrenic, or just immature.

Secretly I always hope that a) would triumph over b) and we'll all live happily ever after.