From Up to Down, and the other way around

Played cards with bro, sis and dad this evening in my sister's room. My big bro's going back to Amsterdam tomorrow, which kinda pulls us to spend some time together, the 7 of us. My eldest, engaged sister is planning on having her marriage in Bali. Christ how marvelous is it? She plans on having it next year on March. Me and my sister is apparently going to be her bridesmaids. A weekend wedding in Bali. How romantic can things get?

In one occasion, in between the cards playing, my big sis asked dad about his childhood, teenage days away from his family. He spent his high school years in Surabaya at his mom's bro's place because he was too naughty. Apparently he likes to kick some breathing walking live chickens to death in his home.

For some reason, I cannot bring myself to imagine my dad as a child. A prankster too. Well that explains so much.

Then he told us how his host family used to talk about him when they ate together. They talked of how my dad took a lot of food from their table. And he was staring down at his cards silently when he said it. It is.. Much more harder to imagine. My dad, who always complained that we are (well, me to be exact) are underfed and we need more food to eat.

Maybe this explains his thoughts, his drive to provide more for us, his need to give us, his children, a much better and more prosperous childhood.

Coming to this realization, my heart dropped. I always complained to him whenever he's trying to give me more to eat. I realized how he used to live in adversity as a kid. And how lucky I am right now without even realizing, let alone be thankful for us.

I remembered this afternoon, when we were on our way to the Bali Wedding event organizer, we passed a row of sad looking little huts by the riverside. The black, brown and smelly riverside. I looked at it, at the topless men sitting idly, looking at nothing. I tried to imagine what kind of life are they leading, but failed completely.

Then my sister said to me, "Mom used to live in one of those houses when she first came to Jakarta with nothing, you know. Look how far she has gone."

Bloody hell.

I really should be showing much, much more gratitude for the life that I have now, and stop complaining over petty things.


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They say people should stop looking up and complaining, and start looking down and thanking.