Status Quo

Days passed. It has been pretty hectic, to travel from one place to another, a full schedule that requires the best of organizing to make it all possible. People are leaving very soon, too soon. Some of them even have less that 14 days here, before they go on a plane and leave to pursue their futures.

Like Michelle said, this is the end.

In some rare occassions of which I get to be alone, I took a second to think. To think of the things that happened to me recently, things that quite frankly have become a turning point in my life. Things that arent always pleasant, sometimes simply painful, but I am grateful to be able to experience.

It's funny how 1 thing led to the realization of another. How you get to think differently after an event. How you feel that everyone and everything around you is trying to send the same message, one after another, to remind you.

I dont think I have to write of what exactly happened in Bali that started all these. What happened, will stay among myself and some others who knew. But I sincerely thank Gerry who took the time to sit with me and unscramble things eventhough I'm down with a heavy flu in the middle of the night in Bali.

I guess highschool does matters.

What I have come to realize is that eventhough you knew of what you should be, you are still at times so vulnerable to distractions that pulls you back to who you were.

Eventhough you thought that you are balanced, when you got your problems all solved, you still have some issues to be solved with yourself. And that, noone can help.

When I thought that I got it all sort out, when finally I thought to have found my balance, things came up. Things that are almost similar with the ones that came up before, things that I once mishandled. And for once I almost did the same mistake. Almost.

And now I fear that soon I shall lose my balance, to crash and break into what I used to be.

Everyone is afraid of changes, to move from their status quo. But yet when one do changes, the only thing that she fears is to go back to the status quo.