Falling snowflakes
Thickening white streets

Did you know that each snowflakes is different?

I feel that I've known you for years
At the same time realizing I don't know anything about you

Not even a last name
Not a thing

I wanted time to stand still,
for it to stop ticking

But I couldn't

So thank you
for the wonderful time

Until then,
Snowflakes will fall
melt, dissapear

But I guess that's the way the story goes.

2010

Jeej it's 2010. It's scary how once you've settled to the habit of writing 2009, once you've gotten accustomed to it, new habit is demanded. 2009 is now yester-year, and I need to continually remind myself that it's the new year. But yet again, what does a year mean but mere number to navigate our way through time. Although the blatant realization of constant change keeps you on the edge. And I like that, to be aware, to have the need of constant searching and reflections. Time flies, but you can be the pilot.

I am writing this now from Hamburg, Germany. This winter break has been such an amazing experience, something you cannot even dream to experience if you did not take the plunge. We hitchiked here, am living at a stranger's house yet I couldn't dream of doing it any other way. I cannot imagine of a better way to start this new year. Trust, kindness and strangely unexplainable bonds between strangers. A guy told me last night that foreigners are acquintances you are yet to know. I think it's an interesting way to look at things - to feel a connection even before we even dare to speak to each other. Hippy as I can be, the symbolic meaning behind this trip will haunt me for months to come.

Went partying last night, met and talked to genuinely unorthodox yet interesting people, drank abit too much and slept too little. Took a walk in downtown Hamburg with one of the guys from the house and the dog, it was freezing. Yet I kinda enjoyed the stillness of a winter afternoon on the first day of the year, people packing their stands for the overdue christmas market, grandmas feeding the doves on the harbor, the silent trains passing the lake, the unawkward silences we had as each got lost in their own trains of thoughts. Perhaps we're thinking of the same thing, Costa Rica or somewhere warmer. Hot cocoa, glühwein and warm waffels. Or maybe we just didn't think at all.

Moments before I was sitting on the kitchen with our host. He's a caricature artist, a damn good one if I may say. He's been showing us his sketches, he's got books full of em! I gave him my travel mini-diary,telling him he can draw something in it that will remind me of him. The look on his face was similar to an innocent child when told that he can skip dinner for sweets. Seconds after he was busy doodling, I was reading my novel. On the other room, his roomate and her friends were just conversing in German, listening to music and enjoying each other's company. Next to me their dog is snoring soundly, deep in her sleep. I took a second to seep everything in, took a mental picture and continued reading.

It amazes me that we only knew each other for 24hrs, yet the idea of not knowing them seems foreign even to me.

So happy new year to you, Internet. May kindness prevails, happiness conquers and laughter redeems.

Sinterklaas 09

We celebrated Sinterklaas last week - a Dutch tradition similar to Christmas. I find it rather odd to be celebrating it, being used to Christmas and all. Unlike the magical and jolly Santa, Sinterklaas (or St. Nicholas) was an actual bishop once upon a time. His benevolence is what makes him remembered, and on Dec 5th the Dutch celebrates him by putting together a night of feasting on cinammon-based traditional sweets and cakes, exchanging presents and making good-natured fun of each other.

Which is precisely what we did.

The jokes we made were racist to say the least, politically incorrect, ignorant and downright offensive. Which is peculiar, given the fact that most of us were strangers prior to that night. I was invited by a friend of mine, so I did not know most of the people she invited. It was amazing how we immediately show what kind of a retard we all are - perhaps that's why the ice melted that fast, we were bonded by our retardness. It was a wonderful experience to celebrate Sinterklaas with you, the benevolent, jolly and loud retards.

Now - check out what I made. I have to warn you, even I felt abit pathetic as I spend the whole day crafting them. I woke up with a slight hangover, a reminder of the previous night's gala where 2 of my awesome friends swooped Oscars for their Rotterdam Tube Your World video! Them lovely ladies are Team 2 ;) I also love the video made by Team 5 and 16.

Back to the Cookie Decorating Session - I was honestly and unexpectedly enjoying myself, sitting next to the window and drawing on my cookies. I drew some of the things that I think best are best associated with Sinterklaas, namely the Zwarte Piet (black piet, the guy with a feather on his head. Indonesians would recognize him as Santa's helper who will put you in a sack to be enslaved back in North Pole! The beauty of cultural hybrid), Sint and his infamous red hat and of course PRESENTS! At times I got a little bit too creative and start making up my own, like this Jollie-Piet, Bono-Piet and Sponge-Piet with his jellyfish helper.





I know, at one point I felt like I'm looking at myself in pity.

Which brings me to my second point - sugar impedes hangovers.

The next day, I was bbm-ing with my little brother back home only to realize he aint so little no more. We would make the usual random, pointless, utterly ridiculous comments at first, before I asked him whether he is still considering upon studying abroad for his highschool next year. He said no, because he's loving his junior high years and the friends that he made too much. I commented, but how if the new friends that you will make is way better? Wont you regret the decision to stay?

To my surprise, he simply answered: "Well, it's an equal 50-50 chance. That's a 50% chance of me being better off here, which is not enough incentive to move". I was surprised by this simple, somewhat intelligent answer. I would never expect this from him, knowing him for 15yrs now. It dawned upon me how much older he's grown since I've left home. Next year he's entering highschool! I remember some years ago I was in highschool, and he was just this little snotty kid in primary school.

Time sure flies, I wrote to him. Uhuh, he said with his usual indifference.

An unexpected sweater visit

A friend stopped by my flat yesterday to get her sweater, and we ended up talking until way past my bed time. Me and her, we always joke around on being hippies in the sea of economists. Which is rather strange since me and my dorky side enjoys snuggling behind economic theories, articles, thoughts, books and talks.

Having spent a year volunteering in Portugal, her way of living is what we call inefficient in economics term. She loves surprises, living by listening to her heart, thrives on being unconstrained by her agenda and most importantly is absolutely thrilled to meet and talk to new people. She is in short not someone you associate with organization and efficiency. Yet she couldnt be happier.

Me, on the other hand, acknowledges the scarcity of time, the need to produce the maximum value out of my limited resources. Dont get me wrong, I always take time for myself. I run every Sundays on the lake, I went to the market to drool over fresh fruits and vegetables, and my ideal Saturday is to lounge on my couch, a novel in hand and a cup of freshly brewed coffee peeking from the table infront.

However, I do completely realize how right she is. It is true that ever since I've lived here (in a "Western" world), I realized how busy we all are. We are running around from one appointments to another, meetings after meetings, talks cut short due to obligations. Not realizing how many opportunities of valuable rendezvous we missed unknowingly, unregrettfully.

Which brings me to my next thought: are we happier this way, to make use of our highly limited time here breathing, walking on concretes and tiles, or are we better off living without our watches, without our blackberries and unprecedented race towards the unknown?

I am still pondering on this, and yet I have to cut this post short as I have a meeting in 3 minutes.

Kinderrechten Festival!

I volunteered at the Children Rights festival last weekend. It was one of the best weekends I had this year. I did not realize how much fun I would have when I signed up for it! It took quite a while to organize everything, contacting the people to make sure everything goes smooth, planning and meeting and brainstorming ideas. But in the end it sure did payoff!

We had this idea to make Wish Boats where children can fold this special paper with directions to make a boat by themselves. Then they can scribble what they wish for the world on that boat, to be put on the "sea" to sail up up and away! It was very funny to see how some children wrote touchy, simple things such as "No more war", or "Children to have houses and parents", "Health", while some wrote "I wish for the chance to swim with dolphins".

Despite all the fun, for me it felt great to be a part of something small done collectively all around the world.

I will be more than naive to even consider the slightest chance of making a difference. But for me, I'd like to do a piece of my part, no matter how microscopic it was. I never realize how interesting it is to hear children's opinions on things. I enjoyed hearing their thoughts, their random scribbles and simple minds. Things are much more interesting seen from a kid's eyes.

So this week, I am going to be a kid. I am going to be happy for no reason. I am going to hum and sing and run and nibble on sweets and nag people and smile and laugh and giggle and not complicate everything. Because life is too boring to be boring, and who else better than a kid to see that?

Kahneman moment

"If you're lucky to live long enough, you're going to see the impossible happen"- Daniel Kahneman, Dies Natalis 2009.



It's official. This is my best week ever. I. Shook. Kahneman's. Hands! Who's Kahneman? Er I dont know, like THE GODFATHER OF BEHAVIORAL ECONOMICS? HELL YEAH! Yes, that Daniel Kahneman! Hihihihihihi it was really funny because I literally just stood there utterly and completely speechless. My brain was saying this is it. The moment to shine! Ask smart questions!!!

Which was the plan. That is, until I started blushing and stuttering. The only thing I managed to say was "it's an honor, Professor!".

And with that, Daniel Kahneman left to get refreshments. And I vowed not to wash my hands. That is, until it was time to eat dinner. Because you know, it's unsanitary.

Viggo, Ribosomes and the Nobel Prize

I had today perhaps one of the most interesting days in weeks! I skipped all of my classes today to volunteer and help out for my university's Israeli cleantech conference. I didnt really know what it was about until I arrived there this afternoon, and apparently it was a conference about cleantech in general, and the signing of MoU to collaborate in extensive R&D for cleantech.

I didnt do anything pivotal of any sort, me and another guy became the person in charge of registration and leading people from one place to another. When candidates are safely seated in the conference room, we had to stay outside just in case someone comes in late and need their name tags. At this point, there were the 3 of us, me, him and another lady. We were so bored we started talking about stuff. And I have to admit I enjoyed every second of it. We were continually laughing, with some serious intermezzo in between about life, aging and cultures.

Did I mention also the Minister of Science and Technology from Israel was also there? Yes, it was indeed very amusing to see securities running around just to 'sweep' the place. And one of them men in black was completely and incredibly CUTE. No, I'm not exagerating this time. This guy looks exactly like Viggo Mortensen in Eastern Promises, only younger and without the scars on his face. Oh my lord.

I was walking behind them at one point, and I realized then how humongrous he was. My fellow name-tag-attendants caught my eyes, and they started laughing and I started giggling. I GIGGLED. What is the worst thing you can do when you are right behind an extremely dreamy and intoxicatingly attractive bodyguard? Oh, I dont know, YOU GIGGLE?

At this point, he turned back and smiled at me. The next second, the entire team of 5 bodyguards turned and smiled at me, curious of WHY was that loser giggling. My cheeks were unsalvageably burning, and people told me I look like a strawberry. We laughed at it for almost 15 minutes straight afterwards. Who knows how much fun can one have while waiting for people to show up and get their nametags!

All the laughter aside, next I actually participated in a little conference/talk given by the Minister himself. I have to say it was really fascinating to hear him talk about balancing his religiousness, politics and academic curiosity. He spoke passionately about academic discoveries, of the two Israeli researchers who won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry (Ada Yonath in 2009, Aaron Ciechanover and Avram Hershko in 2004). I was actually very interested, his short talk made us think of the wonders in scientific discoveries, of how they contribute to humanity as a whole with an infinite applications of their discoveries.

His little story about the ribosomes caught my attention. Ada Yonath studied this for more than 30yrs, amidst all critiques, failures, lack of funding, jeering peers. "It was her stuborness as a scientist," he said. I like how he phrased it, that regardless the odds, the persevering scientist Ada Yonath kept going just because of her own curiosity. She did not care what others say, what circumstances bring, what failures she encountered. She just did it. And to think that the other 2 people who won the Prize with her actually critized her before.

At the end of the talk, people questioned him rigorously. For most of us, we heard how science and religion do not really ride the same wagon. But he told us that is not the case with him, as his religion actually encourages him (them) to research and discover new things about the world. To understand what makes the world tick a little bit better, yet still realize that these discoveries does not entail that we are God.

I thought it was really nice to see how differences can be bridged and conflicts avoided for this one very passionate mathematician.